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please help me...
by worriedwife806, Mar 11, 2008 09:57AM
Hi everyone!
I've been reading this blog and see that you guys talk about a lot of different things. Please try thi one on for size... I've been married for 3 months now. The marriage is a sham. Before we got married (about a year ago) my husband told me that he felt that he was in love with another woman. He could not confirm that she felt that same way however, his feelings didn't change. We broke up for a short time after that to give him time to sort his feelings and deceide what his next move was. He calls me after about a week of not talking or seeing each other and told me that he would be a fool to let me go. He told me that I was the one. I'm so in love that I just go with it. I was convinced that he wanted to be with me. About two weeks ago we began having these intense arguments where he would almost hit me and leave home for the night, you know, just really out of sorts. Mind you, we always argue but, lately I can sense the intensity. Around the same time that the arguments intensified, he saw this woman at a function. He says he could feel her watching him as we stood there. I never saw her but, he did. What has happened is, seeing her brought back those old feelings and now he isn't in love with me anymore. His heart belongs to another woman. It belongs to her. I'm dying inside. I don't want a divorce, we just got married but at the same time, how can I look at him and have sex with him when I think that he is picturing her..... Thae thought of that makes me want to vomit. I love my husband so much. I would give everything I have for him. What can I do. He doesn't want a divorce because he says he loves me, he's just not in love with me. Please someone tell me what to do. I'm only 24, how can this be happening...
I've been reading this blog and see that you guys talk about a lot of different things. Please try thi one on for size... I've been married for 3 months now. The marriage is a sham. Before we got married (about a year ago) my husband told me that he felt that he was in love with another woman. He could not confirm that she felt that same way however, his feelings didn't change. We broke up for a short time after that to give him time to sort his feelings and deceide what his next move was. He calls me after about a week of not talking or seeing each other and told me that he would be a fool to let me go. He told me that I was the one. I'm so in love that I just go with it. I was convinced that he wanted to be with me. About two weeks ago we began having these intense arguments where he would almost hit me and leave home for the night, you know, just really out of sorts. Mind you, we always argue but, lately I can sense the intensity. Around the same time that the arguments intensified, he saw this woman at a function. He says he could feel her watching him as we stood there. I never saw her but, he did. What has happened is, seeing her brought back those old feelings and now he isn't in love with me anymore. His heart belongs to another woman. It belongs to her. I'm dying inside. I don't want a divorce, we just got married but at the same time, how can I look at him and have sex with him when I think that he is picturing her..... Thae thought of that makes me want to vomit. I love my husband so much. I would give everything I have for him. What can I do. He doesn't want a divorce because he says he loves me, he's just not in love with me. Please someone tell me what to do. I'm only 24, how can this be happening...
Member Comments (4)
by crabby70, Mar 11, 2008 12:18PM
You say he doesn't love you anymore he loves the other women...at the bottom you say he doens't want a divorce because he loves you.....in my opinion you could do a couple of things....stay marrried and try talking more about his and your feelings to see if you could work things out....your young you can start over no kids....find someone that truely is IN love with you.....I think life goes by so fast that everyone deserves to be treated good.....If the shoe was on the other foot what would he do?...I wouldn't make any hasty decisions.....this is something you have do and only you know how you truely feel and you how you want to live the rest of your life......giving love and not recieving it isn't good.....best of luck
by suzi-q, Mar 31, 2008 01:28PM
You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Kick his butt out. You deserve to have someone love you as intensley as you love him. Do not sell yourself short. This is the rest of your life that you are talking about. It will be hard at first, but it is better sooner than later. He will eventually leave you when someone else comes along....think of all that wasted time!!! Do it now and don't wait.
by Mandy0079, Apr 01, 2008 10:29AM
I will tell you what I told a good friend of mine last night. If it is truly meant to be, you shouldn't have to work so hard to make it work. It shouldn't be hell on you. You can try to stay in the marriage but most likely you won't be happy. The hardest thing is to let go of someone you love... I don't envy you there. Take it from me, I have been down a path or two and I pray that you gain the strength needed to make the right decision for yourself.
by Wallus, Apr 09, 2008 04:49AM
To: worriedwife806
Hi, has your arguements increased because you are resentful and hurt? I feel sorry for all of you. At 24 you are still searching for your womanhood after it was mutilated in the adolescence. If you love him, just simply love him. It is not black and white. Throw the bum out and all that. It is easy to love. Even if things do not work out, you will have truly loved him and he you. Also I have driven my husband of 16 years so crazy at times that if I were him I would given me a good smack. He did not hit you so let go of that too. Just do not bring any babies into right now. Your husband is not a bad person for loving someone from his past. If you truly love him, be kind and understanding. Even if it does not work out, you will save yourself much anxiety, guilt, drama, and all the other emotions that come from hurt. You picked him, so we just have to rely on that he is worth keeping. Life is hard on all of us.
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