Please help!!

[Pookie443]

I have one biological child and one stepchild.  My husband does not want me to discipline his child in any way.  Nothing.  He just wants me to be a "pal."  Is this the norm?  If he's not here, he wants me to call and report when his child misbehaves. He is not always available, but he has given me no other options.  I don't want to cause any resentment or step on anyone's toes, but I think I am entitled to some authority in my own household with regard to his child.  I have no friends in blended families who can offer me opinions or suggestions so I am looking for experience here on what works and what doesn't for other families.  

[Pyrate]

It is about 50/50 on the bio parent's not wanting steps to disciplin.  I personally have never had a bio child of my own but have 6 steps.  My first wife was upset when I disciplined her children but we worked it out because as parents you have to put up a united front when dealing with any unruliness in the kids.  If your hubby can't deal with the thought of you having any authority over "his" child then I'd be looking into getting hubby some parental counselling to show him how it's supposed to work.  If you can't work 50/50 on your kids, you're in trouble.  Two parents = one front or everything can fall apart and your family can have disaster.  Good luck and I hope things get better for you.   Shane

[crazywillie]

Oh dear I feel so sorry for you, that is unreasonable on your Husbands part,IMHO the amount of trust should be doubled when rearing Stepchildren, by that I mean you should both have enough trust in your partner to know that there will be no preference between biological and Stepchildren when it comes to love affection and punishment, treating one different than the other causes resentment between children, nothing worse than having a precious Step Brother or Sister, to me this is inviting trouble, I think you and your Husband need to sit down and sort this out before it gets out of hand.
I reared 4 Stepsons for over 12 1/2 years we had major problems that could have been sorted out but my exWife was not interested, it had to be her way or not at all, that is why she is my Ex.