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Child Behavior Community

This patient support community is for discussions relating to child behavior, discipline (behavior management), parent-child communications, and social development.
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Is your child masterbating? I can help.

by hannah14, Mar 17, 2008 10:50PM
everyone, please stop being so harsh on young children that masterbate, i used to when i was very little, but i didnt know what i was doing at all! i knew it felt nice, and not until i was 14 did i make the connexion, but i must have been doing it since i was smaller than 1year old. My mum did try to tell me it was a private thing, and i respected that after a while, i used to do it in my bedroom insted of inaprorate situations. Although embarassing, you need to explain to your child that everyone dus this, but its like going to the toilet, its something you only do on your own.

i doubt that any child has got this idear from seeing sexual things, or maturing too fast. it was probly just a acident that they found out it felt nice, it was for me,

i'm 16 now, and understand the situation anyone has with this, if anyone has this problem then please email me for advice, i can help :)



This discussion is related to 7 year old girl masterbating ??.
Member Comments

by boosty, Mar 18, 2008 12:03AM
To: please read
me too. this is the first place i ever talked about it. i did it over clothes in more of a cross leg postion rubbing. i dont know if you can imagine it. i did it for as long as i remember. i didnt know what i was doing until i turned 20. i didnt know that what i was doing as a child was masturbation. the reason i didnt knwo was because my mom would always catch me in the act and threaten me alot. she would say " i will take you to the doctor and he will know the truth about what youre doing" adn she would scare me alot. i kept doing it ofcourse but all my life i grew to feel ashamed of myself, i feel different, and i feel liek something is wrong with me. noone can fill that gap . i am uncomfortabel with sex too. i wish my mother would explain this to me so that i dont grow up feeling like i am doing somethign i dont even know what it is and all i knwo is that i am guilty. now i have a 3 year old daughter that sucks her thumb and plays with her belly buttong while relaxing and laying down or trying to sleep. its a habbit. i allow her to play with her belly button although i felt like it could be unsafe to do that. at first when i told her i dont want her to do that, she started lying and hiding it and being ashamed of it. i know this isnt masturbation but its the same logic.  if i catch my daughter touching herself, i will let her know that she cannot do that in front of people and noone else can touch there but herself. what i am trying to say is that it isnt a big deal at all. it wont affect anything. youre just making them feel wrong when you do punish them .

by Liquid4444, Mar 20, 2008 09:01PM
To: hannah14
What is your email? maybe you can help!
****.com

by rilbrianne, Mar 21, 2008 02:46PM
All little kids do it, I'd be worried if an older kid was touching their friends but a little one has to figure out what all that stuff is down there somehow.  

by mariam1045, May 19, 2008 10:01AM
To: hannah 14
can u give me some help with this situation because i have a daughter who is 8 and is doing this and its really bothering me i would like to know if she keeps doing it weather it will affect her bidy in anyway my email is mariam_nashar***@****

by simple_fred, May 20, 2008 09:57AM
To: hannah14
my child has been doing this too and i have repremanded her for doing it...she has a brother who doesnt do it so i figure now it mush just been a discovery thing...but shes been caught several time since then. and gets really upset when we catch her...can you help..please send me your email

by hannah14, Jul 15, 2008 08:35AM
To: everyone
Hello,
im not giving out emails, but feel free to email me on here!

to boosty:
Its ashame that your mother has made you feel that way, but work through it. dont let it ruin your sexual life as an adult. as it is a perfectly normal thing!
Im sure your mother was just embaressed herself and couldnt deal with the situation. I hope that you manage to work through it :)


to liquid 4444:
please email me on here :)


to mariam1045:
It wont harm her body, the only thing that might happen is it gets a little sore if shes doing it alot. explain to her that it is fine what she is doing but it must be kept in private. if you are still concered talk to the your gp/doctor, he will be able to put your mind at rest.


to:simple_fred
she is obviously getting upset because you having been teling her its a naughty thing to do. That is very confusing for a young child! You must reassure her that it is a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do, in the right situation of corse.


by mom91901, Jul 19, 2008 08:27PM
Concerned Mother

I have caught my 6yr old daughter doing this alot and my biggest fear is that she learned this from someone touching her. I have asked her a million times if that is the case and she says no that she did not get it from anyone and that no one has touched her. Am I right by restricting her t.v. soley to the disney channel? I have also told her that acts like that are for grown ups and she needs to play her role as a child not a grown up. I dont know if my approch is right but I dont know how else to make her stop. Any additional advice??

by Candy56, Sep 21, 2008 09:55AM
To: Hannah14
HELP!!!

Here is my situation...I apologize prior that this might be long but I'm hoping someone can give me some direction and answers.

Apx. 2 weeks ago, I was contacted by my daughters teacher with regards to a situation.  I hadn't been home that day, so when I got the message, I asked my daughter what was going on.  She said that she didn't know of anything.  Being that it was 1 week after her first day in grade 1, it just seemed odd.  The next morning I called her teacher right away to find out what the problem was.  She said that my daughter was "Pleasuring" herself during class and that she was highly concerned as it appeared like she was obssessed with it. (I was SHOCKED)  She went on further by stating that she had high concerns that my daughter would fall behind in school and we'd have to look at dismissing her or holding her back a grade.  She made serveral sugguestions as to how I should deal with the situation such as taking her to the doctor to get her tested for this that and everything, changing her underwear, giving her Cranberry juice, checking for worms ect.  The list went on.

I got off the phone in shock and felt so sad for my daughter.  She's my only child and being that I had her young...I had no idea where to even start or what to think.  Well she was growing up, right from when she was 1 she was always wigglying or pushing in her carseat.  It just seemed like something I hoped she'd grow out of and I didn't really address it because if you mentioned her name she would stop.

So, I started taking the teachers advice.  I booked her apointment, had her tested for infections and had her IQ tested.  My doctor sugguested that she was board and needed more on her plate for work.  I've since met with her teacher 2x and have 6 calls at home.  This has all just been within the last 2+ weeks.  We had changed her undwear, we've been reminding her daily that she can't do it.

Her teacher has isolated her from the other students because they don't want the children asking questions, nor do they want to deal with parents.  It's upsetting to know that they are doing this to her just because she does this.  I'm looking at both sides but she's my daughter and I want to protect her.

This weekend we decided to take things away such as the TV and Computer activities.  But she's been focusing more on coloring, painting and reading.  We're not sure how this will work, but I'm going to talk to her today about how it's ok and try the doing it in private and not in pubic and see if that works for her.  

As for her teacher,  after several corresponding emails and what have you, she is an older teacher so I don't know if she just doesn't want to deal with this or if she just...well...I guess I really don't know.  

Maybe you can shead some more light on this.

This weekend was the first that I actually
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