5 yr. old potty training problem

[hammfam]

My wife and I are at wits end.  Our daughter will turn 6 on April 26th, and has wetting accidents daily.  She does not defecate at all.  This has been a battle since she was two.  We have tried what feels like everything.  We have tried rewards (short and long term), punishment, ignoring it, empowering her, making her clean up...  None of it seems to work.  She has been to the doctor, and they didn't find anything.  She is going to go back.  She has accidents at night, and at school.  She almost seems not to care.  She is an average kid in every other way.  She has friends, and does well in school.  She has a difficult time focusing.  She repeatedly clenches her stomach in a thrusting motion in her car seat.  She doesn't seem to do it anywhere else, and can't explain why she is doing it.  Help!  We are so so so frustrated.  

[mommyof3cuties]

I can maybe shed some light on why she clenches her stomach in her car seat but no where else. I had to take my daughter to the doctor for this because i was concerned about it too. I was shocked at what the doctor told me, but she does it to relieve herself. it feels good to her. thats not what i wanted to hear but its true

[Sonaya]

Hi I have a little girl turning 5 and starting school soon and I too am at my wits end with her bowel problems.  Since she was 6wks old she has always had a problems with getting very constipated.  She has been through so much with lots and lots of tests and lots of medications to help her go, to keep it soft, to clean her completely out when she has not gone for so long it borders on bowel obstructions, and she now has counselling therapy for her fear of going to the toilet.

It can be really frustrating as a parent and I try to do the best I can.  I have been told in no way are we to get frustrated with the child for this, punish her or tell her off, we have to do all we can to encourage her to go to the toilet.  Ive turned my toilet room into a mini play room with lots of wall stickers, mobile hanging fairy things, she has a little drawing thing she can play with when we have a scheduled toilet sit.  T hat seems to work, having a distraction in the toilet so she is not so worried about a poo hurting her seems to be doing the trick at the moment.

She also does little wet wee accidents too which has just started and I don't understand why she has just started doing that when we never had a problem with that side of things.  

I can understand your frustrations and can relate even though we have a difference between number 1's and number 2's.  I hope you hang in there and get to the bottom of it soon.  I would definately get her rechecked by  your doctors.

Good luck
Sonaya