Depression vs Relationship

[strawb]

I was on 40mg a day of prozac for ten years and gave up a little over a year ago.

my boyfriend "encourgaed" me as he didnt like the "zombie" i was on them, though i was taking it when we met, when he asked me to be his girlfriend, and when he asked me to move in.

im now an emotional train wreck with violent and drunken peeing epsidoes but whenever i try to talk to him about any of the underlying relationship issues he just says its "all gravy" and all i need to do is not get so drunk and "think of the good times"

i spend hours in the bathroom crying my eyes out alone because "if i was single i'd have to deal with it" and hes "seen it before, its just being a girl"

im so confused as to whether im a mess because hes lacking in the support and affection i need (like just holding me and allowing me to cry, and just tell me we can find a way to make it all fine again) - in fairness to him, he does kiss me and hold my hand and say he loves me, but its all while he's looking away and seems so insincere, or are we on a rocky road because of my mental state....

or am i just over reacting to everything because of the length of time i was such a high dose that i dont have any control or know how to control my emitions, and how can i get him to understand the levels of affection and support i need rather than dismissal and his disappearnce - he leaves  em to just get onwiththings when im really low and need him most.....maybe because he doesnt know how to deal with it, but walking away fom me makes it all worse....im so low and lonely and very very conufsed, please help me..

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

Your comments suggest that you have several relationship problems, some of them with your boyfriend directly and some that preceded him.  You are certainly right to ask for his support when you are low but it seems that you are low too often and may be asking too much at times.  You seem to be looking for support from outside of yourself that you cannot give yourself and that is something that you need to work on by yourself.  I suggest that you start seeing a therapist and after a while bring him in so that you can work on a relationship as well.