making children go to the other parents.. help...

[mberger]

my 11 year old daughter doesn't want or like going to her dad's every other weekend, first she doesn't feel comfortable there without me, also she doesn't feel comfortable around the girlfriend, (the girlfriend was her 3 rd grade teacher) and there getting married in august, and she is having very big problems with this, when she is over there at his house at times she has something to say to my daughter and she goes to her dad and tells him and she says that he doesn't do anything about it.. just like the time when she hit my son with her open hand because he was upset because his dad wouldn't buy him a toy to have at his house, and then has my son and his father was going around the car she put in reverse and almost hit them, then she left the at a store and made them all walk back to the apartment, but then there has been other occassions that put my daughter in a very upset mood, she doesn't feel happy there... she can't be away from me, then he doesn't believe that there is anything wrong with her his famous words are "there children they need to get over it", but my daughter is so distraught about going there..

how is it fair to force a child to go somewhere they don't feel happy or comfortable, because when you make a child do something against there will it could be considered child abuse, how can this be done to a child(ren) when they don't feel safe or feels like all she wants to do is discipline my children how is that right too..

[SL345]

These are the harsh realities of divorce from a child's perspective - having to leave your friends, home and family to visit the other parents, meting strangers and their children who will affect your life when you never asked for it, being disciplined by people who don't like or who don't care for you. It's very difficult. But, assuming your husband has a divorce visitation decree, that is the reality by which you must abide. What if the situation was reversed, and your son was very attached to his father and didn't want to leave his side to see you, or if you met someone and your kids preferred to be with their dad than to be around that person. We constantly make kids do things they don't want to do. It is the reality of being a kid - clean up your room, take your brother with you when you play with your friends outside, go get a haircut. They need to get their mind around the idea and you need to get your mind around the idea of these visits or it's going to be even tougher on them and could lead to court involvement.

[BabyHardiman]

Unfortunatley SL345 is correct.

Have you tried to talk to your ex husband about his Fiancee's actions?  Maybe you guys should ALL sit down together and discuss what it is your kids are telling you.  

[Jenlag]

I want to make sure I have read this correctly?  Has the fiancee slapped your son and left them at a store?

If this was the case, I would take it back to court.  Simply put.  Trust me, if you have anything solid on this, or if this behavior is frequent, he will wind up with supervised visitations.  And that is exactly what any parent deserves who allows this type of garbage to happen to their children!

Again, maybe I misunderstood the original post...

[RockRose]

mberger,  I wonder what the odds are that he won't actually marry this woman.

I know,  when guys are "gettin' some" they often put up with all kinds of outrageous behavior - but driving off in a rage and leaving them all at the store is kind of beyond what most men will put up with.

I agree with Jenlag,  this sounds like a time to go back and get more help from the court.  She sounds dangerous.

[RockRose]

SL, I see what you're saying about children often have to do things they don't want to do,  haircuts,  etc., but I don't think this is in the same category.  The haircut is for their own good.

Enduring this woman's wrath isn't for anyone's good at all.    I agree that they don't want to go against the courts,  but I think the courts might listen to a story like she almost hit them with the car and then drove off and left them after publicly slapping the boy.   And courts often listen to reasonable children who say I don't want to go there.

It's just sad that she should have to put up with this.