Alone.

[WhatsGoingOn44]

I'm a little unsure where to start..

When I was about 11 I started to pull hair from my head and eat the roots - which I believe is a condition called Trichotillomania.  Over the years (11 to 18) I managed to reduce the amount I did this and overcome many other 'quirks' that I had around the time - eye twitches, compulsive clicking of my jaw (until it hurt), excessive scratching of my skin.  All of which I never revealed - although some signs were obvious.

I'm now 26 and work professionally for a FTSE100 company.  At first this job was well suited to me (in terms of workload and capability) and although nothing obvious has changed at work, I'm struggling to cope.  I don't seem to have any motivation or concentration and suffer from anxiety attacks at times within the day.  As I'm not concentrating, I have to bring home my workload and spend my evenings and weekends catching up.  I drink excessive amounts of coffee to try and help me wake up in the mornings and can't help but drink too much alcohol in the evenings - mainly to forget about work.  

My compulsions as a child now seem to be returning and I'm struggling to keep control of them (mainly the hair pulling and scratching).  I wake up thoughout the night worrying about work and have at times wet the bed (something I don't think I've ever suffered from).  I've never been to a doctor before - other than for an ear ache, and haven't anyone who I feel comfortable with to talk through my problems.  If I were to go to a doctor I've a feeling they may sign me off with stress - but this worries me as it'll affect my career and being a very private person, I find it difficult to express the way I'm feeling to anyone.

I'm not sure what to do next.  I just want to run away.

J

[Roger Gould, M.D.]

You have to talk to someone you trust, and the best person would be a professional mental health person, preferably a psychiatrist because you may need medications as well as talk therapy to sort this out.