5 yr old daughter is a town boy

[ZandKsmom]

I have a five year old daughter that is a complete town boy. She refuses anything girlie and asks only for boy toys such as cars, trains, trucks etc. She fights to put on dresses, sandals even bathings suits as of yesterday. She doesn't like make-up, purses, the color pink, dolls, or princess movies etc. I mean anything that is girlie, pretty etc she wants nothing to do with it. My husband and I are at a loss. My oldest is seven and she is starting to make comments on her sisters behavior and I am worried. Yesterday my husband took the girls to beach but my youngest refused to put on her bathing suit. She only wanted long shorts and tennis shoes. My husband tried everything in a civil manner to get her to wear it but resulted in taking her cars away if she didn't wear her bathing suit. She put it on needless to say. We do not understand her refusal of the usual girlie things. I understand children are different but is there something bigger here? I have not heard her say she wants to be a boy but I am concered. Are we paranoid? Is this a phase? Please give us some advise.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It will not be helpful to your daughter if you pressure her in the way you described. Let her be, and try to be as casual and matter-of-fact as you can. While her preferences surprise you, there really is not anything to be worried about. You are allowing yourselves to be driven by stereotypes about what boys and girls 'should' prefer. Try to enjoy her for who she is. Otherwise you will be conveying to her that there is something 'wrong' with her, and that is not a good message to be delivering to her.

[Cat519]

the expression is Tom Boy

[tafai]

I think you shouldn't worry to much and not pressure her; kids that young really are their own unique little person with their own likes/dislikes.
I personally think that is quite amazing and wonderful to watch develop; i'm not a mother myself but a loving "aunt" to some of my friends kids.
One of my friends little girl (now almost 5) has liked girly things and clothes in general from the get-go, always preferring purple and pink and still would love to be a fairy princess; her mom is a bit surprised by this as she never was like that and still isn't into "fashion & make-up" at all.
But her little girl is who she is and should be allowed to be free to become more of that person (and she is).

Your daughter isn't being defiant, just already a strong personality with her own taste and likes/dislikes. Maybe look at it as something to be proud of instead of worrying to much.

take care,
Tafai