how to become single?

[speckles2006]

Hi, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to make becoming single easier. Me and my ex-fiance have been on and off for about 3 1/2 years. Ask anyone who knows us and they would tell you that i really was in love. *sigh* For the majority of the relationship he was abusive towards me, i know alot of people think people dont change but he did, i had left him and he has not hit me since. The only problem is, is that we dont see eye to eye on ALOT of things and its sometimes rare to go a day without either fighting or being upset because one of us did/said something. I just dont know how meant for each other we really are anymore. I broke up with him the night before last and now im starting to question it. Yes i have things to look forward to like being able to buy things for myself, being free to do what ever and when ever i want to without consulting anyone. but i dont know how to adjust to not having him by my side 24/7. we have an apartment and not sleeping with him at night and wakin up is kinda hard but whats harder is not being able to say the words i love you to anyone or kiss anyone or anything. im not exactly the type for having rebounds especially since we were engaged. *sigh* i just dont know im so mixed up and scared i will lose the courage to make this change. can anyone help?

[MrsOckert]

When a relationship breaks up all your thoughts are on the past one.  Once some time goes by and you meet other people it will get better.

The item that caught my attention is when you said you don't see eye to eye on a lot of things.  This is a problem - now and in the future if you married.  There are a few things that you must have in common and beleive the same ways in order to have a successful marriage.

The hardest thing for you right now is being strong enough to resist the yearnings to return to him.  Give yourself that distance.  Join a club, a group - do something you enjoy doing.   Learn sign language or any new language.  Go volunteer somewhere.

There's lots of things you can do - you just need the energy to do them.  Good luck.

[dakota432]

your a nice looking lady there are lots of gentlemen out there that will treat you like a lady, and make you forget all about youy ex.  good luck

[dakota432]

go to gruene hall in new braunfuels   dance have a good time  I know lots of nice guys there

[teko]

What you are feeling is not love but simply a yearning for normalcy in your life. Doing what you are used to and being where you are used to. It is a habit. It is normal for you to feel what you are feeling. The choice is yours. To go back and resume the same ole same ole or to go find a suitable partner. It sounds like you have grown apart, which is normal in long term relationships and is why dating should be something that people invest time in, in order to avoid divorce later down the road. Based on what you have posted, you would be a fool to go back to that life. Think of it this way, as long as you are playing with this guy you are missing the chance to meet mr right. Take some me time, be kind to yourself and be patient with yourself as this phase will pass. I have heard that when you experience a breakup, you experience the 7 phases of the grieving process. Google them so you know what to expect and be strong. Good luck.