Found out I have warts...i'm terrified

[Kittie372]

Hey guys.  I have had HPV for about four years.  I dealt with abnormal paps and biopsies for eight months before having a normal pap again.  That experience was enough with the fear and pain.  This week I went to my gyno because I saw something funny and found out I have a couple of warts below the vaginal opening.  She gave me aldara cream and I'm not even sure if that will work.  She is pushing for me to see a proctologist or some kinda doctor that deals with internal anal warts to get them checked.  She told me the warts are benign so I asked her if I don't see another doctor what is the worst that could happen and she told me either nothing happens or if they are there they will get worse.  I don't know what to think or do!  I read about internal warts and right now I can say this much...if they are there I don't want surgery.  I'd rather treat what is on the outside first and worry about the other thing later.  

I just am unsure what to do or how to feel.  I am scared enough having these things on me.  I'd rather not see another doctor right now.  I'm scared to death right now.  Ever since I was diagnosed with HPV I have kinda had this vaginal pain disorder with chronic muscle spasms on top of dealing with an anxiety disorder I've had since I was a child. That's enough to deal with right there!
I can't stop stressing and I don't know how to calm down about this.  Please help!

[empathy60]

Seeing a doctor and continuing treatment is the absolute best thing you can do for yourself- particularly if you want to rid of the warts.  HPV is as many say "the common cold" of STD's, you should not feel any worse about it than you do about having a sinus infection or the seasonal flu (easier said than done, I know).  I have chronic depression and anxiety so I know dealing with this can be even harder for individuals like us, but don't despair, HPV DOES "clear" in time.

A question though, did you have high risk HPV (kind that MAY lead to cervical cancer, causes dysplasia, etc.) before you had the warts years ago?  And is this your first outbreak of warts?  Four years seems awfully long to be dealing with a low risk infection...

[Kittie372]

Thank you for replying!  To answer your question when I was diagnosed with HPV the pap came back ASCUS with HPV showing.  Every pap I had was ASCUS.  One of the biopsies they did showed one small lesion I believe but after that biopsy I changed doctors because this gyno was terrible.  At that point I was in so much pain with vaginal muscle spasms and she wasn't even acknowledging I was in pain so i found another gyno who acknowledged that I was indeed in severe pain and even said some of her patients with HPV had chronic pain.  She put me on prozac and the pain was subsiding.  So once my pain was in check with took two weeks she did another biospy and that was normal finally.  Within a year I was back to have normal paps with no HPV.  My last pap in January was negative for HPV and was very normal.  
Sorry for that being long!  So to answer your question now I am not sure.  I never went past an ASCUS pap smear so I am not sure if I have a high risk or not!  So for eight months until now I was dealing with HPV but yea, it's been four years since I was diagnosed.  

[Kittie372]

I'm gonna continue to see my gyno about this.  However, my biggest fear is seeing some doctor for warts in my anus.  I read too many things online about painful surgery and even if they are there I really don't want the surgery.  From what I understand there is no proof anyway that that will get rid of them for good versus my own immune system getting rid of them.  My insurance does not even have proctologists in their network so I don't even know who I would see.  I mean, I could see someone to find out if they are there but I don't want surgery!  Is that being foolish?  I mean, I don't even have any kind of problem going to the bathroom and there is absolutely no bleeding.
I think this is what I'm scared about the most!

[empathy60]

I would see a doctor about it, I mean, they might not even be there.  If they are, surgery isn't the only method of removal.  Unfortunately, not all warts go away by themselves.  Some will resolve by themselves and others will grow, there isn't always any way to self-predict this.  And letting them grow usually makes the situation far worse (and much more extensive and painful).

Have you had a new sexual partner since being diagnosed with HPV four years ago?  I just inquire because this sounds more like a reinfection.  I could be wrong though.

[Kittie372]

I see your point.  I will go but I want to get the ones on the outside cleared up first.  I can't handle dealing with two doctors right now.  It's too much for me.  I have had the same partner for the past six years or so.  I was wondering about all this myself to be honest!  It's possible I had warts and never knew it years ago.  I think the warts I do have could have been there for a while.  I mean is it possible I had low risk HPV and it messed with my cervical cells for a while but then caused the warts I have now?  

My boyfriend got very upset with me.  He's not even here with me this weekend when I really need some comfort either!  I asked him if he cheated on me.  I know it's a very common thought for a person to have.  I believe he didn't but the thought crossed my mind.  I have been having a lot of anxiety attacks the past few months.  It's possible that my HPV is acting up because of that.  At least the pap I had a few months ago was normal with no HPV.  I would assume my gyno is not concerned with me having another pap at the moment because she didn't give me one.  She just gave me Aldara which I'm not even sure is working.  I'm irritated where I use the stuff but that's been it so far.