Im Confused

[cheeklollipop]

Hi
Hope you can help since i was a child i have always felt like i dont belong where i am.
I have had problems with anger and between the ages of 12-18 i would fight any one. I loved hurting people i use to beat up my boyfirend one minute then i would be all ova him the next telling him a was sorry the mext my moods could change withing seconds......I abused drugs for a long time cause they made me happy i was always happier on drugs........I have had  thoughts about killing myself and giving up.
At xmas i brought a puppy and i cant bear to be away from her to the point where i want to walk out of work (this cant be normal)
I also hate conforting people about anything
Any guesses whats wrong

[susieq87]

I feel you are carrying arund a lot of unresolved resentment. I don't know what at.  Sometimes fear turns to anger and angr turns to resentment.  Perhaps this is the way you control relationships.  It wouldn't hurt to get some book on angermanagemnt or co-dependency.  A couple of areas where you might start.  We are meant to be happy, not angry and are meant to care about other people.  You need some peace in your life.  God bless you

[diemyn]

Do you feel cheated? Like you got the short end of the stick of life? I did for a long time. I was pissed at the world and violent and manipulative. For a long time the energy prevalent in the world was negative energy. As an empath I felt this very strongly and became lost in anger, hatred, and every negative feeling you can imagine. But it sounds like you've done that too, and come to know the dark and the darkest parts of self. Do you think it's time to step into the light? It sounds as if this bond with your puppy, a creature of unconditional love,  is very important to you. Maybe that's becuz she's a powerful link to the love within yourself that you may have thought was lost forever or never existed at all. It may be that in this human life you've not felt that love before. In the realm that we all come from that level of love is a given. If you've retained some memory of self before you incarnated here you are subconsciously comparing the love and affection received in this realm to that of the higher realm. And it just doesn't compare. You've maybe been using drugs to attain connection to higher realms or soul self. This is hard, this life. I know it is and I know you think of just leaving it all behind by killing yourself. And more than just a thought, it's a pull toward something unknown, but wonderful. I will tell you, though, that if you stay even when it's hard and sucks terribly and you get to know yourself through all of your human experiences, you will really enjoy the resulting reward. It isn't that far away. Don't worry about being normal. Just love yourself as best you can and practice patience.

Love and light,
Diemyn