My10 year old son is masturbating

[lilmrshomemaker]

I have recently caught my 10 year old son masturbating on three different occasions. The first two I think I handled well by basically telling him he needs to make sure it is only done at home, in private, behind closed doors. Also, he has been using expensive shampoos and lotions of mine which will end up being quite expensive if he continues to do this; so, I explained to him that he cannot be using these products and tried to make him understand how expensive they are. I just now caught him again with some $14.95 body wash in his bedroom and I don't know how to handle this. I am getting frustrated with him and want to make sure I handle it the right way, say the right thing to him. I am sure he could sense my frustration with him, though I tried not to show it. I have read a few other forums and still have found no answers. Is this normal that he is using "lubricants" at such an early age and how should I handle it?

[Angela0528]

I don't think it's normal for him to know to use lubiration, but there's certainly nothing wrong with it. You can't say to him that he can masturbate but can't use any lubicartion until he's 15 can you? I would suggest buying him his own bottle of cheap lotion or baby oil and telling him that he can use that. (getting him something like KY jelly might be a bit much, but it would definetly be much more safer for him to use seeing as how lotions and body washes weren't made for those purposes or sensitive areas.) Tell him again, more firmly that you don't want him using your expensive stuff. Tell him if it happens again it's going to be locked up and he'll have to use bar soap when he showers. Then do it! buy a safe or install a lock on a cabinet and keep all the liquid soaps and expesive lotions in there. It might seem like too much work for the rest of the family to have to go to this cabinet (or to you who has the key) to get the stuff but it might be the only way to teach him. Even though he's awaking sexually, he's still a child, he needs to know you have bounderies and rules about his behavior even when it comes to something as personal as masturbation. What will your stance be when he wants to have a girl sleep over? You don't want to seem like you're walking on eggshells now, because it's only going to get worse as he gets older. I think it's wonderful that you're able to talk to your son about these things so don't back down now! It's perfectly fine that he sees your frsutration! he needs to know that his actions still effect other people, sexual topics included! If you're a mom try to get dad to talk to him and relate, if there is no dad in the picture , try to get an uncle to have a talk with him.