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Pregnancy 18-34 Community

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Ladies I need MAJOR support!

by martikadragoon, Apr 10, 2008 09:55PM
I just got my amnio results back. It's a boy. but also has tested positive for Down Syndrome %99.9 sure. I just got the call about 10 min. ago.
I'm dying inside right now, simply because it was my biggest fear to have a baby w d/s or autism. There's no way I'd ever abort, EVER. But how will my husband react? He doens't know.

The good things is we now have a little Tyler James on the way.
Member Comments (42)

by eyebehave, Apr 10, 2008 10:00PM
To: Martikadragoon
My heart, thoughts, and prayers go out to you!  I work in a group home and some of the most wonderful people I know in this world have Down Syndrome.

Good luck.

by hanacabana, Apr 10, 2008 10:02PM
Wow hunny, i dont know what to say.
I think you should probably tell him as soon as possible, you need to help eachover through this right from the beginning. Have you ever discussed the possibility before?
Telling your husband about what 'Tyler James' may have, reminding him of his kicks and movements should help him to understand that abortion really isnt an option and that this just means he will need more and give far more love (see it as a blessing). He is already your little guy.

xox

Tyler James is lucky to have such an insightful, loving Mummy.

by bioclock1, Apr 10, 2008 10:12PM
I'm so sorry that your child has Down's. I know this is a hard thing to swallow right now but I personally believe that any child born with such a severe handicap is one of the purest souls to come down on earth. My beliefs say that a child with down's is such a good soul that they have chosen parents who are also good souls and can help them through the journey of teaching others.
I know words won't ease the pain of finding out your child may very likely have Down's but you still have a beatiful baby who only needs you and your husbands love to make it in this world.
My thoughts and prayers are with you...
God Bless

by penelope29, Apr 10, 2008 10:13PM
a couple at my church had this happn to them, they just prayed a lot a week later went in for u/s and dr ask them why they are there, there was nohting wrong with there baby. he is now 8 weeks old, without d/s. the test can be wrong . and pray helps a lot  put it in Gods hands and he can help.

by martikadragoon, Apr 10, 2008 10:27PM
I agree about D/S children being the purest sweetest souls. I just told DH and he was like "really? How?" I basically told him it was a genetic defect and all.

The Genetic counsellor said w/us having 1 baby with it (this one) that we have a %1 chance of having it. that's 1/100 instead of 1/15000 or more. My mom was reassuring me that she'll help me raise this baby too and she'll be there along with my family.

I'm still trying to swallow this. When she told me I felt the room spin and also felt as tho I was out of my body. It was wierd. The strange thing is, our last u/s we got a pic of the face, and i thought something was off about it. The eye part, turns out D/S babies are known to commonly have smaller, differently shaped heads/eye bones. I jsut called the G/C (genetic counsellors) office this morning to ask if they screen for D/S.  Maybe god is testing me?

I know he never gives us more than we can handle.

Penelope29~ Did they have an amnio too? That does give me hope, but still. I'm very worried about this.

by precious03, Apr 10, 2008 10:32PM
my cousin had amnio done, and was told that she should terminate her pregnancy due to the doctor saying that the baby had the worse case of down syndrome he had ever seen.  She switched doctors and her daughter is now 4 yrs. old and definately does NOT had down syndrome!!!

by sfritz, Apr 10, 2008 11:14PM
I'm sorry to hear about that! I don't have personal experience but I have thought about how I would feel if I was told that. I came to realize that I would still count myself lucky to have a beautiful baby to love and hold. I would also count my baby (as I count yours) blessed that he was given such wonderful parents and family to love him!! I suppose if my baby does have downs sydrome I will not know until she is born as I am not having amnio done.

Good luck to you!!

by KellyA74, Apr 10, 2008 11:17PM
Get another opinion right away...Was i a triple marker that detected it?  They are not that accurate!

by Atlantisea, Apr 10, 2008 11:30PM
I work as a volunteer for an organisation here called Activ. It is working with disabled people. I started volunteering after I had children because it was my worst nightmare to have something wrong with my baby. I wanted to help people dealing with my worst nightmare. I discovered that it is not so bad. In fact, it has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done and has really opened my eyes to the reality of disabled people. In Australia, there are so many support programs and volunteers, there are special workplaces... And out of all the disabled people I have met and spent time with, Down Syndrome seem to be the most able and happy. I have been on 5 day camps where I have met people with downs that live alone (quite proudly) that are married (either living seperate or together depending on their abilities) and they can have the most amazing insight sometimes. I have enjoyed volunteering for Activ so much, and they are offering me paid work now. At the moment I am part of a service with them where I babysit disabled children to give mum and dad a break. They get 3 hours to go for dinner or go shopping or watch a movie ect. If there are other children I also watch them for free.

Try to start finding out what services and support you can expect to find in your area. Also, it is hard to cope unless you find a group of mums in the area with children with downs. They will know your sadness and be able to help you through your experience. And a playgroup is just what you need. Spend some time with some beautiful downs kids, and you will see that everything will be ok!

by JoyRenee, Apr 10, 2008 11:32PM
KellyA, it was an amnio.

Martika, I don't have the words but I will be thinking of you and praying for you. I hope the test results are wrong!

by alaysha, Apr 11, 2008 12:25AM
My doctor wouldn't even let me get the test to check for downs syndrome because he said it was always giving false positive.

by martikadragoon, Apr 11, 2008 12:50AM
alaysha~ are you talking about the amnio test?

Atlantisea~ Thank you , I'm showing your response to my husband. Maybe it'll reassure him.

Precious03~ really?! your response gives me HOPE. Unfortunately my doctor is the only genetic counsellor in the office that my insurance will pay for. :( All I can do is hope right now.

by KellyA74, Apr 11, 2008 02:13AM
Oops....I'm at work and wasn't paying close enough attention...now I see that it was an amnio!

by alaysha, Apr 11, 2008 02:47AM
Yes I am.

by natemomma27, Apr 11, 2008 07:43AM
i had this test done with my first son and he too tested postive. he is now 4 years old and ADHD with asperger's(sp) syndrome traits. he is pretty much 'normal' although to utter that sentence annoys me...he has a hard time sitting still and paying attention, he has some 'ticks' and things that bother him that require special attention, but inside he is the happiest little 4 y/o iv ever met...so curious and friendly! its tough but i wouldn't want him to be 'normal' or any other way b/c the little boy that he has become is amazing. best of luck, im sure you will be just fine and i know that your love will over come anything thrown your way :)

by LosingMyMindInGA, Apr 11, 2008 08:12AM
To: markitadragon
you need to call your insurance and find out if there are ANY other docs in your area that they will cover...if not..call around and findout how much they would charge to do a second opinion.  This is a very important step in your childs future, I would say a second opinion should be a given.

by precious03, Apr 11, 2008 09:14AM
I agree, definately check in to a second opinion.  I hope that all turns out well!!  Even if the next test comes back positive, keep your chin up!  You can do this!  

by swade, Apr 11, 2008 12:20PM
I didnt have the test done myself for the reasons you are stating.  But my first son, would have tested positive for it.  And that is only because he is border line of the autisum spectrum.  He is 15 years old now, and except for some sensory issues, born prematurely, and he has a few quarks about him, things he has to touch all the time, and stuff he might do with his hands.. You would never know something is wrong, he has a girl friend, is on the JV baseball team, gets 90's in his subjects, has alot of friends.. and is absolutely stunning, even though he is so insecure about himself.  So you have been blessed with an angel, and no matter what you angel may be like, he is still yours, and god doesnt give you anything he doesnt think you can handle, and it sounds like your family is going to be a great support for you.  This baby will make you stronger, and give you a joy everyday.  It will all turn for the best no matter what.  Keep faith on your side and dont act to fast.