Help with attack

[beffqwerty]

Well up til wednesday this week wasn't going too bad, i had some pain in my tummy and headaches as normal but not a huge amount of panicking. Wednesday night, i lost the electric key for the meter, so my mum went balistic, even though it was an accident and i spent hours looking for it. So very little electric because she lets it run down to £1 on emergency before topping it up again :( So can't cook/watch tv/go on pc or anything.Had to borrow money off my ex which is not something i wanted to do as he doesn't have much either! Anyway, went to the shop to buy sandwich stuff and met up with friends at the pub. I haven't been able to do that very much recently so it was a bit of a break through.My partner and i were there with a few of my friends, but partner had work at 6:30am so had to leave. I stayed as i've walked home from this particular area many times, its only about 20 minutes. So about 11 i leave, about 2/3rds of the way home in an alleyway some huge guy steps up behind me and grabs me. I couldn't move, i felt like i couldn't breathe. Smacked me about a bit which was terrifying, scratches on my face and bruises everywhere which now hurt like mad. I screamed when he tried doing more and blacked out, coming to on my own. We don't think he did anything more because according to my partner i got in at 11:30 and collapsed in the hallway. I don't even remember getting home :( In my past things like this and worse have happened, and i thought i could stop a person from doing it, i fought back before and i thought i could this time. However with my illnesses i've become a lot weaker as i have problems going out and exercising. My anxiety is now through the roof, and to top it all off agonising pain wouldn't stop on thursday and i had to go to the walk in centre (one of my least favourite places). I have lots of antibiotics to take for a urine infection now :( Not seeing how this week can get much worse, i'm arguing with everyone and very flinchy and nervous around guys, even my partner :( Not sure how much more of this i can take.
Does anyone have any ideas on how i can get my physical fitness up or somehow stop this happening as i feel like theres a neon sign above my head advertising for guys to try stuff, that i can't see. I don't dress slutty i tend to bundle up in a big coat, i don't know what it is. Please help!

[spade22]

OMG! You got attacked!  No WONDER your anxiety if hitting the roof!  I am going to suggest a couple of things:

i) Counseling.  This is really important considering what you have just been through (anxiety disorder aside).  

ii) How about taking some self defense classes, karate, etc.  That way you will have some real skills do defend yourself if that ever becomes likely.

iii) Mace!   Get a small bottle of mace to carry in your purse for extra protection.

[beffqwerty]

I'm on the list for counselling but they say it could be up to 6 months before i get an appointment :(
I can't afford to do self defense until my benefits start coming in (i've been unable to work for 9 months now)
I'm liking the idea of mace though, give the b******ds what they deserve (that cheers me up a little - kinda worrying!! :D )

[spade22]

Perhaps you could also look into what womens self defense classes are offered in your area.  A lot of times various places (gyms, colleges, womens shelters, etc.etc.) offer a variety of cheap classes - its a matter of finding the resources that are available (heck, call your police station and ask them if they can point you in the right direction).  You could also hire a movie/DVD to learn some basic self defense techniques.

I used to run alot and was nearly attacked by a crazy dog on several occasions.  I got a little spray bottle of mace (pepper spray to be exact as "mace" is illegal) to take with me which I could use if necessary.  These days, they sell pepper spray in all sorts of forms which are disguised and can easily fit in your purse and its pretty cheap.

Im sorry you cant get any counseling for such a long time - its a pity there aren't enough resources out there and people who really need sometime cant get access to it.

[beffqwerty]

A crazy dog?!
I've found a club nearby where they do body combat which is a mixture of things which can be used for defence :)
Thanks for the advice/tips :)

[ShainaW]

You're a strong person!  Just consider that.  If someone had attacked me I probably would still be in a corner of my room hugging myself and refusing to go outside at all.  Just consider the steps you HAVE made, that you're still functioning on any sort of level means you have the strength in you to keep going even though someone scared the hell out of you.  I look to you and hope that if something like that ever happened to me, I would have the fortitude to be able to hold it together like you did.  I don't think anyone in that situation could go through that and be unphased... just remember that you made it, and you can be stronger for it.

[FearFighter]

Hey guys how about trying this, just ask your doctor for it !

FearFighter TM, is an internet application that turns any internet-connected PC into a self-help therapist, able to tackle anxiety, panic attacks and phobia. “FearFighter is an 8-12 week course of therapy delivered at home, in the office or even at a local library.  It ‘interviews’ and assesses the patient’s anxieties and fears, helps plan a self-treatment schedule, monitors progress and gives feedback.

FearFighter consists of nine steps that are worked through one by one in order to ensure the greatest benefits.  Like a therapist, FearFighter asks patients to return each week to report on how they’re doing, and patients can print questionnaires and graphs of their progress.  FearFighter also guides users through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and randomized controlled trial evidence demonstrates that it improves anxious/ depressed patients as effectively as face-to-face therapy.

To refer a patient, the process is as follows:

1. FearFighter is suitable for patients suffering from panic, anxiety or indeed any phobia. Patients who have chronic somatisation may also be helped. FearFighter is an alternative to face to face CBT but is available online immediately.

The patient is given an appointment for screening by a trained FearFighter support person, such as a practice nurse or graduate worker who will then initiate the patient in the use of FF. This process takes about 20 minutes.  

A username and password will be issued to your patient; your nurse will also provide support to the patient when needed, on average 30 minutes to one hour for the 12 week course of treatment.

Full training is provided on the implementation and support of FearFighter.

2. Your patient can then either access FearFighter from the surgery, their home, or from any PC having internet access.

[beffqwerty]

Thank you so much, i hadn't really thought about how far i've come since in such a short space of time, i was just concentrating on the bad bits, but actually i think i've done pretty well :)