Anxious 4 year old who won't potty train! Help please

[wrightl11]

I adopted a drug baby and have had her since birth. She is now 4 as of December 1st, but was 3 and 1/2 weeks premature. I have tried to potty train for two years (along with the day care) and nothing is happening! She FREAKS out and cries like I'm punishing her when I suggest she needs to wear panties even over the pull-ups. She also does the same anxious crying when I ask her to sit on the potty for a count of 10.  I have tried EVERYTHING!  I have more potty's than some women have shoes! I've tried rewards, potty books, potty songs, special toys and CONSISTENT training. She briefly sat on the potty last summer and would only void at around 10:30 or 11:00 at night before bed.  She tells me that she can't and is so anxious that it has become a torture thing if I ask her to sit. She can have dry nights but usually not. She doesn't mind to be wet or messed and even when her friends make fun of her at daycare she isn't one to be shamed into going to the bathroom. I'm not sure that she can hold pee for long periods of time because she always has a pull-up on. I took her to "Dr. Potty Monkey Creator" himself but left more frustrated and confused than before. After an ultrasound he said she looked okay and that I just needed to train her.
I'm not sure if he had experiences with former drug babies or her case just stumped him and he had no answers, but I need help!  I'm a teacher and have read extensively about the topic both in books and on the Internet but have not found help. She is developing normally academically but was diagnosed with a sensory seeking disorder. She is seeing an OT for a 4-month delay in fine motor skills and had Torticullus at birth. She took Phenobarbital for seizures because of the drugs but was off of them by 6 months. No one is able to coax her into going to the bathroom. I feel that its a totally anxiety problem because she's smart enough to be doing this.  I would be happy if it was just number 2 she refused to do, then I would feel it is a more normal thing. Have you ever heard of this before and where do I get some help. She won't be able to attend pre-school as she should in the fall if we can't get this settled.

[chasehunter]

i'm a mother of 3 kid a 4 yrs old, 2 1/2yrs old and 1 1/2yrs old. my oldest is trained and my 2 1/2 yrs old is not and i just tried her again a few days ago and she still didn't want to use the potty and i'm sure it's just because it's different (she hates everything that's different) but i won't stress over it. i read that you don't need to potty train a child. i believe it because every healthy aduld is "potty train" so eventually when your child is not presured she will use the potty. as for school does she need to attend school this fall maybe just hold her back a year if she's not ready to use a potty.

really i think you're just trying to hard and your child is either stuborn or is enjoy all the attention of not using a potty.