Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Abuse Support Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to emotional, physical, sexual, social, spiritual, spousal, and verbal abuse.
Hi I'm new here
by Nicole092907, Apr 15, 2008 02:00PM
Hi I'm new to this forum and I thought maybe for the first time I should talk to other people who have been in an abusive relationship physically and emotionally. I was with the father of my kids for 3 years and after the first year and a half of being with him was great until jealous started to consume him and everything I did was wrong or I was cheating on him with someone. I'm happy to report I am no longer with him and have a restraining order in place right now. But I'm not so happy to report that even through all the bad things he did to me I still talk about him and think about him every so often and miss him when he was sweet and nice. But I know deep down if I was to ever get into a relationship with him again it wouldnt be good for me or our kids. I thought maybe someone would like to talk sometime if so e-mail me at ***@****
Member Comments (4)
by Aloysia, Apr 15, 2008 02:34PM
To: Nicole092907
Well first of all I'd like to say I'm super proud of you! I was in the same situation 5 years ago....I was with the guy for 3.5 years too and I had a baby girl with him....I left him when she was 6 months old....I never was truly happy, and I felt as if things would get better in time. I kept going back to him in fear of many things, most of all loneliness....I ended up moving 2 hours away to start fresh just me and my girl and I wrote alot of poetry about my situation which really helped me let it out. My mother was also in a very abusive relationship for 7 years and he beat both of us....even after extreem instances involving police she always went back and I never understood why until I was in the same position as a teen/young adult. Well I'd just like to say that I know what your going through mentally and physically and I'm here to talk anytime....and don't you worry you won't be lonely forever!!! I've been with a wonderful man now for almost 4 years and I have a second child with him and he treats my girls equally and it' s almost as if that abusive relationship never happened.... Take care :)
by Nicole092907, Apr 17, 2008 12:29PM
To: Aloysia
Thank you sometimes I have to remind myself that I just need to be strong. I think thats it to the loneliness sets in and also I'm scared to be with a guy knowing all of those perves out there these days its scary. Most stories I have read were the mothers boyfriends abusing the kids. But I think I actually might like someone but who knows right now I'm really defense and he's really sweet to me. I'm sorry to hear about that I never grew up around it so when it started to happen to me I didnt know what to do or think. My mom whos always strong and tells guys where to go thought it should be simple for me to just walk away from it all. I guess I felt like I owed him since he took me in when I had no where else to go and no one to care for me. He was the first guy to love me for me. Until jealous started to control his mind. Thats great I pray I'll find that great guy some day who will be so great to my kids.
by treazzure007, Apr 19, 2008 03:47AM
I experienced this type of relationship briefly. I do still think about the person but probably only because we had a son together. Time is the best healer from relationship woes. You did the right thing getting out of that. Just continue to be a great mom and concentrate on your children wholeheartedly. Love with a man will come along soon enough.
by hawaiibunny7, Apr 22, 2008 05:13AM
dont feel guilty about thinking about him. Its completly normal. I had a friend who was sexually abused by her step father's best friend for years. she finally got away and exposed him but here we are years later and she confides to me that she misses him sometimes and still thinks about him. she's not sick in the head she just misses the times they had before he started to abuse her, he was the only real father she had known up till then. now you were with someone who abused you but it wasnt always like that, you miss how it was before things turned bad and thats true for all of us. we all miss the times when things were happy and normal. why shouldnt you think of those times. what it all comes down to is what you choose to do. take what you have learned and move onward, you can think about that pass but dont live in it and dont go back. always move forward
Post Comment
