Anybody else dealing with an unsupportive husband?

[roxximommy]

My husband has never really been a super romantic, or the most attentive man in the world, but I guess I at least expected that when I was pregnant I would get a little special treatment.  I can't even get a stupid foot rub!  And that is the least of my concerns.  He is just alway short with me, rude, irritable, and sometimes just plain mean!  (Never physically, just verbally)  You would think he is the one having a baby.  I try so hard to be a good wife and mother to our 2 year old, and with my due date fast approaching (May 8) I am just getting more and more stressed out- for many reasons.  I am worried that I will not be able to handle 2 children by myself- which I feel I will be doing since he shows no indication of wanting to help.  I am worried about postpartum depression- which I had with my first baby, but didn't realize until about a year later.  I just want some help, and I want him to be nice to me and understand that I am tired, and stressed and nervous.  I try talking, but it does no good.  I always get the same responses:  "We'll figure it out"  " I don't know"  or " I don't want to talk right now"  And when I ask him a question i get one word- very vague responses, so I am forced to ask more questions which he interprets as nagging and yells or tells me to shut up or just gets pissed off.  I am so tired of this.  Sorry to vent for so long, but if anyone else is having similar issues or cn offer any help I would be grateful to hear from you.  

[kellym]

Well I think that is terrible that you feel that way :(  Or, that he acts that way that is. Is he stressed?? I have an 18mo dd and I am having this one May14th. Believe me there's stress all over the place. My husband is pretty attentive and we communicate well. I hope things get better :) Also, if you have had PPD, make sure you address that as soon as you give birth. There is NOTHING wrong with it and hell, if you need meds to make you better plan on getting them early to avoid any stress. good luck.

[vsentz]

aweeee I am so sorry you feel this way!!!! I posted (not too long ago) in the pregnancy 35+ about this same issue with my dh.... I received a bunch of support from my girls here and i remember one telling me about seeking professional help. It is working! we are going to counseling and he is trying REALLY hard to be nice to me and even last night (he NEVER does this) he leaned down to talk and kiss my belly!!!!! I was like: WWWHHHATT?!?!?!?!?!

It is nice to see him trying after so much time of fighting, him being so rude, me being such a nagger.... we are finally getting along much better... yeah, we still have little fights here and there, but usually making up (and no, no sex! lol) is way better! =)

By the way, my due date is 2 days before yours!!! yippieeeee!!!! we are getting there!!! =) do you know what you're having?!?

[Tennesseegirl]

yes... and Im going to leave it at that... dont want to write a book... smile..

[Lezzart]

Oh well...stop cooking his dinner, stop doing his laundry, just take care of your little one(s) and if he "complains" just say, I understand and I'm sorry hunny, with the kid(s) and all I can't do it all anymore and I'm tired. And use his words when you reply: I feel the same way! I turn around there is a mess to pick up and nobody picked it up, it's 5 pm I'm hungry and no dinner is made, makes me upset to after doing so much around the house all day and still there is more to do.

Just sympathize with him...or what I like to call it...play stupid. Don't get me wrong, my husband is a good help...not great but good and sometimes I need to play the stupid trick on him...like sweety? Are you still going to use that plate and that glass? (Answer "no") oh can you come here? You forgot to put it in the dishwasher...silly you! :)

[HollyB999]

I feel for you.I am divorced and remarried last July. My previous husband was a total jerk. When my breast leaked in the bed he got so mad at me and when I snuggled up against him in bed and the baby would kick he would get ticked off because the baby kicking would keep him awake.- What a ****! They don't understand how we feel emotionally and physically. With my second husband, he worked with a woman that had her baby about a month ago. She gained around 70 pounds and was miserable. Not only has my husband always been a gentleman but working with someone who was that miserable gave him more of an insight. The only problem is that he works third shift. He works 7 days straight and then is off 7 days.He can get really cranky those days he works and even sometimes equates his sleep deprivation to mine. In those cases I do what a previous lady said: stop helping him. Your first priority is your children. Take care of yourself, child and unborn baby. He is an adult and can care for himself. Arguing will cause more stress, so try to avoid it. Professional help would probably be the best option though. I tried to get my ex to go but he was done with our marriage. Good luck!