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Amazing Mom's w/physical challenges-open forum
by tmv, Apr 16, 2008 09:22AM
Hello, I was thinking of my sister's bestfriend this morning and wondering how she does it all. She was born deaf and was never able to successfully have any type of sound restored in her ears. How she has adapted to the different stages and phases of her own life to me is astounding. But the fact that she is a mother of two children, now ages 5 and 3 is astounding. She is awesome at being a Mom and caring for their needs. Her husband works 40+ hours a week and she is a SAHM. She has some sort of vibrating pad and big bright red light set up in her bedroom and living room to different things, like when the babies would cry or move around in the bed, the light would go off with the vibrating pad in her bed. Also, when the doors open or windows, these go off as well. I am intrigued by this topic and would like to hear others stories. I would be so scared, yet she is very confident and wonderful. Anyone else have a story of a Mom that has overcome physical hinders that surprises you? Please share and thanks in advance.
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She didn't have an easy life, though. She married young, 17. My uncle was 20. They wanted to marry before he was shipped off to war. My Grandma said they could marry but that she must finish high school no matter what. She did but she was hugely pregnant and cried because her graduation gown didn't fit right. She also was looked down upon because she was pregnant and so young even though she was married.
She had three babies in three years (by the time she was 20). The last baby was born severely retarded. He was a big baby and breech and they should have done a C-Section but they didn't and after many hours of agonizing labor he was born but went without oxygen for too long and was severely brain damaged because of it. She loved all her babies, though, and did what many didn't do in that age and kept Ricky instead of institutionalizing him. Eventually she did put him in a home when he was older because she couldn't take proper care of him anymore but she put him in a loving home where he got the attention he needed and she visited him every day. He was so severely retarded though that he didn't recognize his parents and that was so hard on my uncle that he cried one day after seeing him and my aunt vowed she wouldn't make him go back anymore. It was just too hard on him.
Later, after her boys were grown she found out she had breast cancer. She had first one, then the other breast removed and reconstructive surgery. She also had Diabetes which she got at a fairly young age and had to take insulin shots every day for the rest of her life.
When my uncle was 53 they had to go to his dad's funeral. My uncle was full of stress, grief and guilt because he had been the last one on the phone with his dad before his dad went out and shot himself. He told his wife the night before the funeral that they just needed to get through the next day. The next day, while shaving in the hotel room bathroom, my uncle had a massive stroke and died right there on the floor, the day of his dad's funeral. They had my uncle cremated and brought him back home on the plane in an urn on their laps. My aunt was beside herself. This was the love of her life. She had been married to him since she was 17. She had to learn to live on her own. Fortunately, my uncle had a good pension and she was taken care of financially.
Eventually, she was lonely and found a boyfriend. After visiting with her kids one night, she came home to find him dead on the floor from a heart attack. This is the second man she cared about that she found dead on the floor.
Because of complications from her diabetes, she had to have some fingers amputated and then her leg. She also had to start doing dialisis because the diabetes was taking a toll on her kidneys. So, three times a week (I think it was) she had to get hooked up to the dialisis machine for hours at a time. She took it all in stride and learned to get around real well with a wheelchair and her scooter. Through all of this, she never lost her sense of humor and will to live. She'd let my kids zoom around on her scooter up and down the hallways of her assisted living apartment. When I expressed concern over bothering the other residents. she said "Oh, let the kids have fun. If these old biddy's can't understand children having fun it's their loss!" She always cracked me up! She asked me to take her shopping one day and told my kids to pick out their favorite ice cream treat. Since they couldn't agree, she got them each the treat they wanted. I knew it would sit in her freezer because she was diabetic and couldn't eat it. She didn't care.
I'm so glad I had those moments because they didn't last long. Shortly after that the doctors told her that they needed to take some more fingers and her other leg and she said "No, no more." She decided to wait until her first great grandchild was born and then be taken off the dialisis machine and let nature take it's course. Of course her kids were upset at first. They wanted her to hold on. She did for as long as she could but not for her sake, for her kids' sake. I was amazed at how calm and prepared she was during this whole time. She was the strong one who reassured her family. She planned everything so that no one would have that burden. She planned her whole funeral, right down to the music, etc. She had her cat put to sleep because they had recently found out her cat had cancer and she didn't want her to suffer or anybody else to have to deal with that. She was making plans for Ricky to be taken care of when all of a sudden, within months of her dying, Ricky died. I always believed that God took Ricky first so that he could meet her in Heaven. My Grandmother said when Ricky died, simply "Now he's whole." Now he was in Heaven and finally what he couldn't be on this Earth.
My aunt hung on much longer than they expected. She kept trying to hang on because her kids weren't ready, even though she was. She hung on too long, really. She had hoped after getting off the dialisis that she could finally eat and drink what she wanted but towards the end she was in too much pain. She always loved strawberries and joked that she wanted a Strawberry Daquri. Now, my mom has a Strawberry Daquri every year on my aunt's birthday to honor my aunt. That was her sister. She touched me more than she may have realized. She loved and accepted everyone, especially her kids. Her boys treated her so tenderly when they were grown. I was impressed with that. She died 7 years ago. I still miss her.
My Grandmother died 2 years later.
Now she's in Heaven with her mom, dad, husband and little boy. I know she's happy.
Does it have to be moms?
I found the most amazing video on UTUBE. You can just google his name. The name of the video is "No arms, No legs, No worries!" -- Nick Vujicic
He has no arms or legs and doesn't let that stop him. He's a motivational speaker and travels around the world.
Check it out! He's really something!
Share anything, I'm just being in a greatful, warm-fuzzy mood lately.