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Abuse Support Community
This patient support community is for discussions relating to emotional, physical, sexual, social, spiritual, spousal, and verbal abuse.
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Is this abuse or mental illness?
by angryhubby, Apr 18, 2008 05:40PM
My husband of 10 years has progressed from anger to breaking things smashing cars in the driveway and tearing doors off the hinges. He never blames me but announces his anger like a threat. I have never been touched even once but wonder about all this. He sleeps alot sometimes is overwhelmed and confussed at times and the rest of the time seems ok. He take responsibility for his actions and feels bad about the messes. He has mentioned suicide in the past and his anger is totally out of proportion. Not able to hear my issues or problems seems like he does not care or even hear me. I have several cracked windows several rooms with no doors and countless holes in walls. Is this really a subltle form of abuse directed to me or just an innability to cope with life? I feel stupid because this does not fit any picture I have found of mental illness. So what do you all think??
Member Comments
by marissposa, Apr 18, 2008 06:00PM
I think it is both abuse and mental illness. Abuse can be a symptom of a mental illness. He needs to get therapy and maybe medication for your well being as well as his.
by jo929, Apr 18, 2008 07:51PM
To: angry husband
Have you tried to get him to go to the Dr,I would say that he has a big problem,and needs help, and really does not know just what to do, there could be a physical reason that is causing this, and then it could be mental,When one mentions suicide, he is really asking for help, Also sleeping is another red flag so to speak, I have worked the medical field for 40 years, am not a therapist, but please do get some help for him, and then you will know for sure just what is causing this. Sometimes sleeping is a way of escaping reality,that they cannot cope with, I wish you both lots of luck jo
by txsilver, Apr 18, 2008 10:50PM
To: angry husband
I could not agree more with jo929. He needs help and you might want to get into counselling too so you can set boundaries and learn how to cope. Anger unchecked has a way of escalating. It is important that you not ignore the red flags for the sake of both of you.
by treazzure007, Apr 19, 2008 03:27AM
You already know he needs help to get to the bottom of what's causing his upset. But I want you to know that most men are crazy anyway and are only grown up boys. You continue to steer clear of him with those tantrums while he seeks and successfully completes therapy.
by faithfulchild, Apr 20, 2008 05:22PM
To: AngruHubby
This must be hell for you. It must be really terrifying to live like this! I really think the problem might be both so you need to get him checked out. The fact that his anger is progressive means it is dangerous. Do not believe that this is your fault because now is not the time to play that blame game. Your husband needs help and you need to help him get it.
by hawaiibunny7, Apr 24, 2008 05:08AM
maybe bipolar. the rage, the sadness, the calmness. no matter what you should seek out some help, not just because there could be something wrong but because he is seriously unhappy and so are you because of it.
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