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Herpes Community

This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding herpes issues such as: Herpes symptoms and treatments, causes, diagnosis, and herpes in men, tests, telling your spouse or partner.
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Herpes Dating PLEASE HELP

by Nycurious2222, Apr 20, 2008 09:03AM
hello-

a few months ago i started dating a girl with genital HSV-1. things got serious for a while, but we've recently taken the relationship to a place where it can potentially be non-exclusive—dating others if the opportunity comes along. i tested negative for Herpes before we started dating and have yet to be tested since we began having sex.

my question is: how do i handle dating outside of this current "relationship" in terms of disclosing i currently have a sex partner with an STI? even if i get tested and find out i'm still negative, does that mean i have to disclose the possibility of getting it, however rare as it may be, to every potential partner once i get to date 2 or date 3?

on a side note, can anyone tell me what the chances are of getting oral herpes from performing oral sex on a girl with genital herpes-with/without suppression therapy, with/without a dental dam?

thanks a lot for your help!

nycurious
Member Comments (2)

by Nycurious2222, Apr 20, 2008 09:07AM
To: nycurious2222
also, forgot to mention: i did find a small bump/zit in the region between my testes and anus about 6 weeks ago (2 weeks after we started having sex). it went away in a week or two  and i didn't think it was herpes since it wasn't especially painful.

by gracefromHHP, Apr 20, 2008 11:30AM
You aren't likely to contract hsv1 genitally from your partner. Hsv1 genitally doesn't shed very often.  Since statistically 1 out of every 2-3 people you are dating has hsv1 orally - it's really a non-issue at this point.  Also you aren't more likely to get hsv1 orally from performing oral sex just because hsv1 "prefers" the oral area either.  We don't have the stats for hsv1 that you are asking for either.

Your current partner was honest with you about her infection. You got yourself tested too.  Keep in mind that most folks you meet are going to have "something" stdwise.  You should be discussing all std's prior to being intimate with someone and don't just take their word for it that they don't have any - most folks aren't getting tested regularly for them no matter what they tell you.  So if this is going to be an open relationship with your current partner - be considerate enough to remember that it's more about what you could be contracting outside the relationship as much as what you know your current partner has.  Do you need to be telling all future potential partners that you are currently dating someone with hsv1 ?  only if you want to.

grace
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