Parent with questions.........

[ROXIEB]

Hello,

I am not sure if I am in the right place or not. I have a 3&1/2
year old little boy who I am concerned about. Don't get me wrong he is
a very smart loving little boy but he does a lot of things that just
"aren't normal". I was wondering if this sounds like Aspergers.

1. Speech
My son spoke at a very early age... around 8 months he was using full
sentences by 10 months. Things like "I did it" "what's that nosie"  but then
he seemed to quit advancing on his speech at around 2 years. He will
still baby babble a lot. I have to tell him to use his words. He has
trouble expressing in words what is going on with him. He will repeat
things he hears on the TV or phrases over and over again. The letters
R and L seem to be absent from his words. Don't get me wrong he speaks
really well. He just doesn't communicate that well sometimes. The
symptoms above are not all the time but at least a few times throughout
the course of the day.

2. Abilities
My son also is very good with numbers and letters. He freaks me out
all the time by the things he knows. He doesn't read but he can tell
me for instance the word car......... he will say "mommy look it says
C.A.R." He is also very good with puzzles. He has been doing them
since he was 18 months old. He was up to 35 piece puzzles by 2 years
of age. He can count to 20 and can tell you how many items he has. He
can also tell you by looking at the numbers what they are.

3. OCD traits
My little guy has always had to have things perfect. If I put
something where it doesn't go he will get mad and move it. The same
color blocks together. Lining up movies, cars, books etc. If it wasn't
done just so he would get frustrated and throw them everywhere. He is
a freak about being clean. He doesn't like dirty hands and will start
bawling if he gets grass on his shoes.

4. Emotional outburst
He will flap his hands when he is excited and start babbling in his
baby babble. If he is playing he will decide he is done then one of
his friends comes up to him and he will freak and just start bawling.
If he doesn't want to do something he doesn't tell you he just has a
melt down..... crying and screaming. When I wash his hair I have to
wrap him up in a towel so he can't move and take him to the kitchen
sink and carefully wash his hair while making sure I don't get even
one drop of water on his face and he still cries the whole time.
However if we don't go through this routine he has a complete melt
down and starts screaming, crying and kicking.

5. Over sensitive
He is extremely sensitive to light he doesn't like to play outside unless
it is cloudy. He just covers his eyes and buries his head in my chest. I can
just be talking to him and he will tell me mommy stop talking to loud.
He gets overwhelmed in public and with lots of people around. He has
done this since he was and infant. He will once again come to me and
cover his ears and bury his head. He gags on certain foods and won't
eat them unless they are room temp. finger foods. He is the world's
pickest eater. He freaks out if I put him in his car seat and the back
of his shirt is pulled up a little.

6. Fears
He is scared of weird things, dancing toy animals, the shower, the
toilet, most people... if they say hi to him first. If he says hi
first it is ok. Sometimes like tonight........ he will be playing with a
toy then all of a sudden decide he is scared of it.

7. Attachments
He is extremely attached to his blankets. All 15 of them.lol A couple
of them have fringe on the end and he brushes them on his face.

I know there is more but you get the idea........ I have had several
people mention his odd behaviour to me.... babysitter, aunt, grandma etc.

I forgot to add......

He still isn't potty trained. He has always been behind on the
physical stuff. He didn't roll over till 5 months, crawl till 10
months, walk till 15 months etc.

So what do you think?????

If you read this whole thing thank you and I appreciate any input you
can give me.

[Sally44]

Hi,
Sounds like you have a very clever little boy.
There are some things that stand out as characteristics of autism/aspergers.  If your child had no speech delay/problems then they usually look at the criteria for Aspergers.  If you son had language problems eg. not understanding/misuse of pronouns, echolalia (repeating TV/DVD speech or repeating words/phrases spoken by people).  To find out about echolalia google 'delayed echolalia' and read about it.  "I did it" and "what's that noise", could have been echolalic repetitions of phrases he has heard before.
Your son does sound like he has alot of sensory things going on.  Again, if you google 'Olga Bogdashina' you will find an article about sensory differences in Autism Tody.  She has also written alot of books and the Autism Department in our area invited her to come and speak to professionals and parents.  But basically all of their senses can be oversensitive or undersenstive, and the 'level they perceive things' can alter day to day and throughout the day.  They can also have problems 'interpreting' what their senses are telling them.
Your son sounds very light sensitive.  My son too would always want his hood up/cap on.  Curtains had to be drawn in the house etc.  Look up 'Irlen Syndrome'.  This is a visual perception difficulty experienced by many people including those with dyslexia and autism.
Autistic children are usually very good at visual/spatial things eg. puzzles/model making.  Some children almost teach themselves to read and write.
They can also be very good at language (speaking it), but may not understand what is being said to the same degree eg. my son is assessed at age 7 (he is 7 years old) for expressive speech and age 3 for receptive speech.  They also tend to communicate only for their needs to be met eg. I want a drink, put the TV on etc.  They don't know how to use social 'chat'.
The things you call OCD traits are usually described under autism as 'rigid behaviours and set routines'.  So your son has learnt to do something in a certain way and if it is done differently it will upset him because, from his point of view, it is 'different' and therefore 'not the same thing'.  From a communication point of view he may have learnt how to say 'hi' to someone first, then they reply, then he knows what he says next.  If that order is changed and the other person starts the conversation with 'hi' he no longer has his routine to follow.  Does that make sense.  You could practice with him so that he learns how to respond to someone saying hi, but he is still very young and he may simply want to keep to the set format for the time being.
Hand flapping and spinning is very common in autism and it usually shows itself when the child becomes excited/stressed etc.
having meltdowns.  Autistic children can have problems understanding where they end and another person begins.  They also have difficulty understanding that you cannot read their mind.  Again he is only 3+ from a developmental point of view.  But he may get upset because you have interupted the routine (or another child has).  Or it may be that you are asking him to stop doing something and he has difficulties leaving things 'unfinished'.  It could also be the 'unpredictability' of social interactions that upset him.  Autistic children tend to 'rote learn' responses and find it very hard to 'think on the hoof'.
Wrapping him in the towel could be a sensory thing.  Many autistic children like deep/firm pressure.  It will make him feel calm and safe.  The sensation of water on his skin maybe distressing him.  My son is hypersensitive on his hair/head/ears/feet/nails.  Getting his hair cut used to be a nightmare.  We had to leave once with half a haircut because he was so upset.  He said it was hurting him and it was.  So I just found another gentler hairdresser.  With sensory issues you have to try to understand how they are 'feeling' it.  Even if it doesn't look painful to you doesn't mean it isn't painful to them.  Your son may also be undersensitive to things eg. he might hurt himself and not feel a thing.
If you find out more about autism you will understand more about where some of the fears come from.  The shower: is it the sound of the water upsetting him (auditory oversensitivity) or is it the feeling of the water on his body (tactile sensitivity), or is it that you don't have a set 'shower routine' and he is afraid of the unpredictability of it.
My son was also afraid of talking toys.  We had to get them out the house.  For my son it was that they talked unpredictably.  So he might be concentrating on doing a puzzle and then Shrek would say something.  It would (a) scare him because of the sudden voice out of nowhere and (b) it also destroyed his sequence in the puzzle and he might lose his place and have to start again.
Liking his blankets/fabrics etc could be a tactile thing.
Children on the spectrum also tend to be later at certain milestones, especially potty training, physical abilities etc.
If you are at all concerned, which I can see you are, then I would go and seek professional advice.  
From age 3+ children start to become more social and it is usually around this age that alot of autistic/aspergers children are picked up because they simply cannot cope in nursery because of the social demands placed on them.  So I would start the process now, so that any therapies can be started and be in place prior to starting school.

[RockRose]

Sounds like sensory integration dysfunction  to me.  The hair washing problem is classic.    Perceiving that you're talking too loudly is another classic sign - and kids with SID often perceive activity as "noise".  For example, if someone is silently jumping up and down next to them they might say STOP IT I CAN'T HEAR THE TV!   The bunched up shirt is also pretty typical.  

Google Sensory Integration Dysfunction and see if it fits.   There are therapies that can be done for him at Occupational Therapy - like "brushing" that will help reduce his tactile defensiveness.

Best wishes.