Am I immature?

[herumb]

I am 26 years old. My friends usually say that I am still a child, and I still behave like a child. Childish in the sense that I don't understand human emotions. They say that I need to grow up. That occurs even to me when I sit alone and think about the situations I spent with my friends. But I feel I m slowly gaining emotional quotient (as they say) year after year, because as I review myself two years ago I find some stability in my behavior now. One more problem is I am very less confident in speaking out. I really don't find myself at ease when communicating my ideas to others. I feel someone inside me is pulling me away from doing that. Please suggest me on how to improve my behavior and build confidence.

[Jen813]

It's so good to see that you are realizing your situation and taking positive steps to change it.  What do you mean that you don't understand human emotion?  Are they saying that you aren't compassionate, or something like you don't understand when people get angry?  I think that maybe you should talk to a counselor or a psychatrist.  These could be symptoms of a disorder, and you would feel so much better once you find out for sure and if there is anything that you can do to change it (i.e. meds).  It's amazing what little things can do to make you a whole new person.

[diemyn]

I know what you mean. Human emotions are so intense that I find myself pulling away from all of them, good and bad, as a defensive reflex to avoid getting hurt. And I don't have "normal" reactions to them either. You must be here to experience what it's like to be human, so I'm glad you are taking steps to understand emotion as that will help you to better know yourself. If I were you I wouldn't be so eager to grow up just cuz somebody told me to. A child-like perspective is very valuable in that it most often lacks judgment and sociological foundation. You know what? I don't find it easy to communicate my idea, even mundane ones, to others either. I used to think that this was cuz all people, except for myself were stupid and un-evolved. Well, they aren't stupid, but they are unevolved, or less so than myself anyway. Often I find the english language ill equipped and inexpressive. It's very frustrating to feel like no one hears what you intend them to even when you are trying so hard to come at them from an angle it seems they should understand. I think it's good that you are becoming more balanced, but be careful not to set yourself aside in order to conform to others expectations. That may have something to do with why you feel you are being pulled away. If you've begun to notice how you are different and aren't at ease in current social groups, it might be time to change the setting. As we become aware and vibrate higher we are drawn away from those who we cannot connect with. Like attracts like. There are people who will understand you. One is waking up right up, I'm sure. I think it's wonderful to be weird. Allow yourself to be true.

Love and light,
Diemyn