please help me

[uday007dj]

i am 20 years old, i have been suffering from depression for the last 4 years, the cause being i am losing my hair, secondly i am not into college,

all my friends have a better life they even are happier as compared to me instead of having lesser finance and services at home. i have also not been in a relationship so far. i consulted docs they said its due to lots of testosterone..please help me i am totally broken from inside and i need your help..

[ParamedFlorena]

Hi,

It is so easy to compare "my life" to "their life" and look at what "they have" and not what "I have". I hope that this isn't a complicated answer.

Don't stop looking for friends. Who knows, maybe one of your friends think exactly the same as you? Finances do matter no matter what everyone else says - but it is a material need. A vital need is to feel that we're loved. You need to take the time and look at yourself and think "THIS is what is good about me".
I'm sure you are good at something. Find out what it is. The love of our life, that one perfect human being, is a girl who shares a few commons with you.
You can't find that perfect relationship if you don't go out and look for it. I don't know how much hair you're loosing and if it is on any kind of embarrasing grade, but loosing hair is normal. There are a lot of age-related changes that starts happening when we're getting older.

One thing that helped me - and my brother too - was to start nursing creativity. For me it was writing and photographing. For my brother it was webdesign and Visual Basic. Maybe you have one of those great hobbies that lets you be creative?

Otherwise, I think I can say that please be patient with love. While your testosterone builds up of physical inactivity, you would absolutely get testosterone and endorphines balanced with exercise. Don't wait until tomorrow. Start exercising today. With exercise, you don't only build muscles. You build YOU, your personality, your self esteem!

Maybe you can find some help in the related expert forum "Self Improvement Coaching" too? There is a whole lot of information about how to find more self esteem there. Depression has a nasty habit of taking our self confidence away...

>> http://www.medhelp.org/forums/show/144


Check back!
Florena

[uday007dj]

thank you,

itz just that i have lost my self confidence,
i was breaking every thing at home - tv laptop.
my mom once even admitted me to a psychiatry ward from then i have started hating her as well, i m very abusive to her i cant control it, i blame her for my loneliness.
my father died when i was 4,
since then its just me and her..

[ParamedFlorena]

I hope that you can find forgiveness. I know what it is to loose a parent - but I placed my anger on the parent that was gone. We seem to need someone to blame, but that too is a phase we've got to get through. I did also place a lot of anger on the next life-partner that my father chose, and to feel better with my life, I had to forgive (not forget). Still, I am not an expert - only one who taught how to cope with the cookies of life.

Have you tried counseling? It is not a shame to ask for help, when you go through all of these uproaring emotions. A counselor is well educated in guiding someone out of depression.

Florena