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Pregnancy 21-34 Community

This patient support community is for discussions relating to pregnancy and childbirth in women age 21 to 34.
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lying boyfriend

by Hyena5, Apr 23, 2008 11:39AM
So I caught my bf talkin to one of his x's and I am so hormonal I really lost it last night...............I flipped out on him :( screaming at him, swinging on him, tryin to take all my stuff an leave him. now I'm scared all this stress is gonna take a toll on my pregnancy. How do I calm down...I'm only about 7-8 weeks along......I'm VERY HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I just want to not stress and chill out so this doesnt affect my pregnancy if it hasn't already
Member Comments (32)

by mami1323, Apr 23, 2008 12:02PM
Do just that...think of your baby.  Think of how badly you want this child and take a breather.  Go outside, take a long walk.  Get away from him for maybe a day or two and when you are calmed down then discuss this issue with him.  For now this is the best advice I can give you.

by natemomma27, Apr 23, 2008 12:02PM
go for a walk or go stay at a friends for a little while. get urself under control, vent to someone or write a letter to get it out and take a nice bath/shower!

by loismwallace, Apr 23, 2008 12:08PM
Calm down and think before you act....

by Hyena5, Apr 23, 2008 12:13PM
To: All
I am at work right now....my sister says I am over reacting I told her GIRL I AM PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and we have had our issues with his lil problem "talkin to all his  x girlfriends" and DENYING me to one of them before. So the circumstances are very different now. LYING is in no way GOOD under our circumstances or under any circumstances much less. I just want him to not be so defensive about it. Like he did nothing wrong, and I should be more trusting of him. Well I would be more trusting if his butt wouldnt have lied before and he wouldnt have tried to lie again about this broad.....maybe it was innocent bs talk and nothing more BUT if he wouldnt have lied and deleted text messages they had then that would be different! I honestly want to leave work and catch up on all the zzz's I missed last night and yes take a nice shower. I left work early yesterday though so I hate to do it again today :(

by Hyena5, Apr 23, 2008 12:15PM
To: All
oh and he does not want me to leave, that I have my baby and our daughter in the "streets" if I do that and thats not good :(

by natemomma27, Apr 23, 2008 12:18PM
i went through the same issue with my ex...hed talk to all these girls and send texts to them but when i would just casually ask what he was doing...hed flip sh*t and start telling me to mind my business, so id back off and later his phone would ring and hed walk outside to take the call...so id ask him about it and we'd fight and id tell him the same things...if u have nothing to hide then dont be so damn defensive!!! needless to say, hes an ex for a reason...now im not telling you to leave him (i dont know your situation in depth to say anything), but i am saying to stay calm so you dont get the backlash of his explosion!!!

by ImHappyBeingMe, Apr 23, 2008 12:24PM
First, I know that it sucks when your bf talks to his ex behing your back... But, you shouldn't just start flipping out. Not when your pregnant sweetie. You have to say to yourself... "I have a miracle growing inside of me" and breathe. Write down everything you feel. I mean EVERYTHING.. and then try to talk to him about it. If you talk to him while your angry, it won't get any better.. And, if that doesn't work.. take a break.
Just seperate yourself from him for a few hours to a few days.. Relax and think of your baby. And, how you can't wait to meet him/her.. Take warm baths and practice good breathing.. Then go back to see him and talk it out.


Do everything you can to relax. And, I hope you can work things out sweetie.

by martikadragoon, Apr 23, 2008 12:59PM
I have one word that explains if your crazy during pregnancy .... NORMAL, completely normal.

My guy actually cheated on me, and I found out a week before I found out I was PG. I have flipped out on him several times. BADLY, ,like cursing him all around and everything. but ... he gets it, and he screwed up anywayse so he knows I have a right to feel betrayed.

by Hyena5, Apr 23, 2008 01:30PM
To: All
Well honestly now that I have calmed down a bit. I feel like I shouldn't be dumb here. I have no money to leave I have one daughter who the sperm donor father doesn't pay child support on (different father)..........this baby's father I know will be there and pay but if I leave him I really won't have any money. I can't live off my sister for free forever. Myself and my daughter and my baby on the way............I feel like I should just stick it out get rid of my car use one of his, if I do this I can save about 5k before the baby is born then once the baby is born if things haven't changed LEAVE HIS BUTT!!!!!!!! I know this is probably wrong but hey he is the father of this baby and if I am carrying this baby he should support us right????????????? I'm just worried getting rid of "my car" is going to put me worse off if I can't stick it out throughout this pregnancy. I will seriously have to control my feelings.......which right now really feels impossible!

by wild.blue, Apr 23, 2008 03:05PM
tell him if he wants to talk to his ex girlfriends, put the phone on speakerphone and talk in front of you. If there's nothing weird going on, there should be no problem. If he gets defensive and refuses too, then thats not right..

by Hyena5, Apr 23, 2008 03:12PM
To: wild.blue
GOOD POINT

by wild.blue, Apr 23, 2008 03:19PM
lol thanks!

I had the same issues a little while ago.. after I asked him to talk in front of me, they stopped talking all together. So something was going on and it stopped. (she lives in a different state, so I know he didnt cheat.. just flirted or whatever)

I wonder if men ever fee anything like the crazy hormonal rage that runs through us women at times!

by miko_latte, Apr 23, 2008 04:52PM
I know exactly how you feel...i just found out my baby's dad was cheating on me the whole time with an underage girl...I'm already 8  months pregnant. I want to beat this gurls *** so bad, but...ugh! so i know where you're coming from.

by Hyena5, Apr 25, 2008 01:10PM
To: All
Does anyone think I should call this chick and get her side of the story????????? I am having a hard hard time dealing with this. I want to know what the truth is. Not to say she will tell me the truth. BUT if it was innocent like he says then she should confirm that right????????????

by wild.blue, Apr 25, 2008 01:22PM
If it is still an issue, I guess I would. Just be nice and respectful and tell her your pregnant and it's bothering you. I'm sure she'll be willing to talk about it.

Did he ever call her in front of you?

by luvmy2girls, Apr 25, 2008 01:23PM
I would definitely call her.  You should know by her first reaction to your call what the truth is.   If he has nothing to hide then no worries right?  Sorry you have to deal with this.  My fiance still talks to an ex that he says was more a friend than a girlfriend....I just trust him until more than phonecalls make me suspicious.   Good luck  I hope he is innocent.

by mami1323, Apr 25, 2008 01:25PM
To: Hyena
I don't think you should, at this point you should take his word for it.  You need to trust him and who knows if what she tells you is true or not.  Sometimes if we are looking for something we will find it.  I'm not saying that if he's cheating on you, you should stay but maybe it's best to leave well enough alone.  You need to stay calm and just take care of you and your baby right now.

by Hyena5, Apr 25, 2008 01:30PM
To: All
nope he didn't he told me she did call yesterday apparently because he saw it as a missed call among other missed calls from other people. He said he was telling me to see my reaction to him being honest since he didn't feel he could be honest before which was supposedly why he didn't tell me about their prior conversationS......SO I told him when he said that OK THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT IS WHAT I NEEDED WAS YOUR COMMUNICATION AND HONESTY I TOLD YOU SHE WOULD CALL BACK.............BUT, when she does call back I would like to answer and see what she has to say or I want you to answer ON SPEAKER PHONE. He goes WHAT THATS DUMB!!!!!!!!!! YOU SEE THERE YOU GO!!!!!!!!!! I said what?! I promise I am not gonna talk smack to her!!!!!!!! I just want to ask her nicely what she wants .......HONESTLY I DO FEEL LIKE TELLING HER LOOK CHICK YOU JUST HAD A BABY HOW THE HECK WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR MAN WAS CALLING ALL HIS X- B**&()!!!!!! WHEN YOU WERE PG???????????? YOU BETTER HOPE I DON'T FIND OUT WHO HE IS SO I CAN TELL HIM WHAT YOUR DOING!!!!!!!

Sorry had to let that out! Really my approach would not be like that unless she comes at me crazy or something.

by Hyena5, Apr 25, 2008 01:35PM
To: ALL
OK the major part to this story is that in January and prior to that.......he was talking to ANOTHER X OF HIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This one was a dang stalker though and we had MAJOR problems about it which he WAS LYING ABOUT which is how and why I had access to his bill online,,,,,,,he did lie and he wasn't "cheating" with her physically but he had denied me to her and she was messaging me talkin crazy sh*t to me on MYSPACE making me look dumb that he denied me to her and then how when she did find out about me he talked all kinds of **** to her about ME and our business! I had to delete my myspace becuz of her and the problems all that brought us. SO now for this other girl to be calling out of no where is why I am really UPSET its like round two alll over again.........

by mami1323, Apr 25, 2008 01:42PM
I would talk to him and tell him that it bothers you that he needs to keep all of his ex's as friends.  They are ex's for a reason and they need to be his past and they need stay there.  How would he feel if it was the other way around and your ex's kept popping back up in the picture?  Especially after the last incident, he should be even more cautious with these chicks.  He needs to respect your feelings because you are having his child.  He has to understand that you are uncomfortable and that's not the best way to begin your family together.  See what he says after that.

by wild.blue, Apr 25, 2008 01:43PM
Tell him that and sit down with him until you resolve it. Be calm though. And sit and talk it over until you come to a conclusion you're happy with. Tell him if he doesnt resolve this, it will only get bigger and cause more problems. So tonight make sure you guys talk about it. If he cares about you, he wont  want you to be upset and will work with you to solve things.

You shouldn't be stressed out like this, it's really hard on the baby