3-year-old refuses BM on toilet

[Goldrush]

Jordan just turned 3.  She has spent a good deal of her life living with my parents who are nearing 80.  Jordan is very intelligent.  Her parents have been divorced for nearly 2 years and 6 months ago her mother left for the armed forces.  With the sudden death of my mother, Jordan's dad has taken the responsibility for her care and they adore each other very much.  Jordan is very intelligent and tends to run the household.  Her dad just remarried and they have been making a concentrated effort to "potty train" her,  but are only marginally successful with her urinating in the potty.  She refuses to have her BM out of the diaper or "Pull-ups".  She used to paint the walls next to her crib with fecal matter.
She reasons far above the average 3-year-old, and I have tried to reason with her as well as offer rewards of extra play time on the swing set and sand box, rewards of prizes and food, but nothing works.  Her parents are desperately trying and very, very frustrated.  I told them I would go online and see what I could find out.
HELP!


This discussion is related to Potty Training - 3 year old for BM.

[nsn1977]

my daughter wasn't fully trained until 3 years and 8 months. intelligence has NOTHING to do with potty training readiness. it is 100% up to them. don't push it. they just resist and refuse even more.

bribes don't work.

all you can do is be consistent. put her on the potty the same time, after meals, in between meals, before bed....
don't insist she pee or poop - just make sure she sits for a few minutes.

if she goes, make a BIG deal and reward. A reward is not a bribe.

is she in preschool? i found a bit of peer pressure helped!