Pregnancy

[jaikay]

I recently went to the hospital due to heavy bleeding and found out that I needed a blood transfusion (2 units)
This excessive bleeding has been going on off and on for years and I have just dealt with it and my primary doctor had given me iron supplements.  Anyway, after an exam this gynocologist told me that my uterus was huge, equivelant to a 5 month fetus.  Well, I feel fine.  He has told me I need an hysterectomy, which sent me into tears because I have not yet had a child and still want to have a baby.  I am 47 years and have not been married.  I was very insulted by his statements and will place a complaint with the hospital.  He talked to me as if it was stupid that I would still want a child and told me, "You should have thought of that earlier", I was undone, could not believe it.  Well, my siblings asked me to find out if it was possible to have my eggs frozen and allow my sister to carry my child, well when I asked that he told me that he doubted that any fertility organization would consider me.  "You're 47 years old!" (He said smirkingly.  I was soooo hurt and in tears.  More background is that I do have fibroids and he said it was almost impossible for me to become pregnant, and if I did I probably couldn't carry it.  I told him I have friends that have this same problem and have several children.  With this said, I guess my question is, Is it possible for me to have my eggs frozen, and also is it necessary for me to have a hysterectomy. He wants me to make a decision next week and is trying to get me to schedule the procedure, but I don't feel comfortable with him and I know that if I do, he will NOT do the procedure.  I am scheduling an appointment with a female gynocologist, I am sure he may be a good doctor, but I feel that he needs to take a class in treating his patients with respect and being sensitive to my needs.

[rene67]

I'm sorry your doc has such poor bedside manner, he could be honest with you without being so rude.  

First, I would get another opinion on the hysterectomy.  I can't say whether that needs to be done.

Second, I don't think you are a good candidate for freezing your eggs, at your age (sorry) there may be very few of good enough quality (if any).  I am 40 (almost 41) and have tried for 3 years but had 3 miscarriages, likely due to poor egg quality.  Still, I continue to have regular periods and ovulate.  At 47, that may not be the case or it may be more irregular.

That's not to say you can't have a child.  If you can carry one (i.e, don't need hysterectomy, fibroids can be removed), you just may need a donor egg, preferably from someone in their 20s.  If you can't carry, then there are options....like a surrogate (your sister?) using donor eggs.  Talk to your OB about your desires and see what she has to say.  The doc is right that a lot of fertility practices won't see you, but there are some that will.

Best of luck to you.

[jaikay]

Thank you so much for your reply.  I figured he wouldn't be lying to me (the doctor), but he didn't have the good "bedside manner."  Thank you for giving me feedback.  It was very much appreciated.

[lhughes]

I had a surgeon without a bedside manner.  All I can say, is find another surgeon.  You need someone who will talk with you and listen to your concerns.  If you feel he is not listening, then stop the conversation and find someone else who will talk with you.  You do have a choice in this.  

I'm with you, there are things that can be done still, even at 47.  Find someone else to help you with all your concerns....certainly someone somewhere can help you.  It may take a bit though to find that certain someone, but keep looking.  

You mentioned seeing another gyno...how about discussing your options with an RE at a fertility clinic?

Good luck to you!
L