husband is nasty

[cle665]

I have been married over 30 years, 4 children all grown. During the beginning it was all about his career and him, and for me being an at home Mom. Loved my life, then about 15 years into our marriage everything changed, we lost our home, had cars repossessed, utilities turned off, he wouldn't work. I had 4 kids and somehow we made it through. Now, my husband takes credit and insert himself in many things I have done in social settings. Always "I did this, when in fact it was me"  He is a great story teller and always takes up about 80% of the conversations in social settings, if I try to correct I get a dark look from him. He lives to tell stories of the past, never the present. I only worked 2 years of our marriage (because I had no transportation), he has about 5 credit cards, I have 1, he has 3 checking accounts I have access to 1, there is usually no money (I have had $44 in the last 2 weeks).  He won't give me the weekly grocery money, he shops everyday for food, then tells everyone that "He does all the shopping". Other people love him, he is charming. He is financially irresponsible, we may lose our present home soon. (This would be the third home we have lost if it happens, we have had 4 cars repossessed) Bill collectors call several times a day at home. He is a professional with an Ivy league education.  I went 18 years with no car, yet he bought each of our kids cars when I had none. I finally got a job (recently) and bought myself one, then the company I worked for went out of business, and with the economy can not find another job.  He hands the grown kids money all the time (pays for their health insurance and car insurance), when I ask for money he makes sure he gives me exactly what I need no more.  If I try to have conversations with him about letting the kids grow up he gets angry.  He is recently running his business into the ground by only working about 4 hours per day, when I try to have a conversation about it he will turn nasty and give me no explaination other than there is no business so he comes home.  I feel that he hates me, it is the oddest thing. In front of other people he makes derogatory comments to or about me and then passes it off as a joke. I wanted to leave him years ago, but decided not to disrupt my kids life until they were grown. To at least give them an intact home as the jumping ground into adulthood.  I am at wits end.

[joannemcfc]

if your kids are grown up,get the hell out of there,the man is controlling and manipulating you  in so many ways,,,words cant describe how awful this man sounds...youve put up with this for 30 years too long.you deserve so much more and you only have one life,,,make sure you live the rest of it happily,,,,,,take care,,,joanne x