BEDTIME NIGHTMARE

[mynamehere]

My daughter is 19mons old and she suffers from some mild developmental delays. She does not talk and she has some other issues. Every night at bedtime she starts. I live with my parents. She seems to be calmer and more cooperative with my mother so I let my mother start the process. Well, its became quiet clear that the only reason my daughter lets my mother hold her is because she can manipulate my mother. My mother lets her get up and run around and drink juice and get away with things time and time again.
When finally I take over, my daughter cries and screams and squirms and violently flails. Its like she hates me. I cant get her to cooperate with me for one minute. So my mother takes her back. She usually ends up falling asleep in my mothers arms. But this is usually HOURS after we started the process.
Shes not getting enough sleep and shes sleeping well into the late morning. I cant seem to stop this behaviour no matter what I try. I need some help, some plan to where she doesnt approach bedtime thinking its the worst. PLEASE... Im ready to give up and let her roam around til she passes out at midnight.