Post-partum Blues

[40smama]

Ugh, I hate these nasty feelings - I'm so happy that Noah's here and doing well but I've been crying about any and everything!!  This is worse than pregnancy!  I feel guilty for feeling this way when I wanted this baby so much and went through so much to get him and now I'm being a weeny.  I realize I'm probably being too hard on myself but that seems to make me cry more!!  It's gotten slightly better but it s u c k s!!  Anyone else dealing with this and is there anything to relieve it?

[vsentz]

OOHHH SWEETIE!!!!!! (((HUGS))) i don't think you're crying out of sadness! i just think you're way way WAAAAY too emotional!! and why not!?!?! you just had your biggest dream come true!! it's all a mix of 'oh sh*t! i am a mamma now (well, you were, but now it's all over again!)' and also that you see your little man and can't believe your eyes!!! it's all hormones as well.... girl! cry!!!! go ahead and cry your eyes out! you've gone thru hell and back for this! so now you have it... you are enjoying it SO much that it brings all kinds of feelings to your heart!

I'd say, get all that out of your system, enjoy yourself, enjoy your baby, and try to relax as much as you can.... i really don't think you're sad... you are crying out of emotion!!!! and that is OK!!!!! =)

Here i am if you ever need to talk ok?!?!?!! don't forget about me!

[40smama]

V - I'd never forget you, girl!!!!!!!  You know I love ya - I don't know what the hell, man?!  I've been sick since he's been born and it's sh!t trying to recover from major surgery as well as trying to get over all of this other stuff as well as taking care of my precious baby!!  I feel like I'm not enjoying him but I love him soooo much!!  Does any of that make sense?

When are you going to have that baby???  What does the dr say???  I'm dying to know - I can't wait for you to have this precious little one!  Are you going to breastfeed?  Don't forget about me either, okay???  Love ya, jen

[pertykitty]

i had pp depression after my son was born.  they say its higher in having boys than girls in a new study.  i took some meds to help, its one of those things that you sometimes need to do, maybe you should set up an appt with your dr to talk about it.  

maybe its not that and just some hormones.  but it makes your life much easier and able to enjoy your little guy if you feel happy again.  good luck i hope you feel better soon

[vsentz]

of course not!!!!!!!!! my dear, you're one of my sista's here!!!! =))
Girl... this sweet little princess is just like her dad!! she gets comfy somewhere and GOD forbids she'd get her tooshie moving..... she's just cozy and warm in there! no way she's gonna want to come out!

As of last monday (39 week appointment) no effacement, no dilation... no nothing... no signs of anything happening....damn doctor even said sarcastically 'nope! you're not even dialated! go home and you know when to call right?'
im like 'yeah!! right! i'll call you when im holding my little one in my arms as$h&le!!!'

urgh....

Everyday, at work... all the ladies (and even guys!!) stop by my office or in the bathroom and look at me like 'aweee you poor thing'... and ask 'you're still here huh??'

uuuuhhhh no! i'm there pushing my baby out... what you see is an hologram of me acting like nothing has happened....


'course im still here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =S.... WE... are still here.....

I don't know... i've been trying to go out for walks every day, i've been nesting big time (well, that's been forever now tho, nothing new), my feet and hands are balloons...., i am GOD BLESSED tired!!! i mean, my head whips down and up all the freaking time in front of the computer at work!
I just want a little sign... i know i should be enjoying this last days... AND I AM!!! =)... but i am getting so anxious.... every one is holding their little ones already! and i just can't wait to see mine!! and hold her and kiss her!!! and there is no signs of her coming soon!!! =(
I really think i'm gonna go big time over due... =((((

I need a hug girlfriend!!! and i know you need one too... so here!!

(((((((HUGS!))))))))))

[melimeli]

I had the baby blues with my second and it went away at the same time my ankles went down.. about 2 weeks post birth...I felt like I was going insane.. would cry all the time and  I never wanted to be home... the day they let me out of the hospital from the c section I was over at friends until  10pm every day

[melimeli]

oh and dr's have pills to help I have already asked but they said just cuz I had it last time doesn't mean I will have it this time I will just have to wait...

[babyprayers]

HI jen,

          ughhh, I am so sorry you have to go thru all this, dont feel guilty, I am sure once your system gets staightened out all will be fine, just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you,, hope all is well with noah, and hope your heart trouble and edema has gotten better

Luci

[cpatow]

How are you feeling now 40's mama???

I had the blues w/ my first and it STUNK horribly. I cried and cried and cried and really had a hard time bonding with her for quite some time. My doc gave me some hormone pills...can't remember what they were but they weren't anti-depressants. He said sometimes our hormones just get out of whack when healing and it's hard for us to regulate. Did the trick for me but man I just remember that sinking, horrible, guilty feeling of not "being in love" with being a new mom. For me, too, it was my first so TOTAL culture shock and my DD had 14-hour a day (no joke) colick. AND she didn't sleep at all. AND I'd never changed a diaper until that time.

That was almost 10 yrs ago and looking back in hindsight is so much easier. I didn't get blues w/ DS so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I won't get it this time either.

Hang in there and if you ever need to talk just PM me. I've been there!!!

[mlb1234]

I had major baby blues too right after the birth.  I wasn't really sad but I was constantly bawling and my dh could not understand why(sometimes neither could I).  i don't think I have ever cried so much in my entire life!!  I think it was a combination of being SOOO overjoyed but also sad that this HUGE event that you had been anticipating for so long was over.  I also just wanted to hold onto every single moment forever and was terrified I would forget them.  I was the same as meli though- went away about two weeks after the birth with no help.  LOTS and LOTS of people get this and do not feel bad at all if you need meds to help out.  It's very important not to let it go too long without being treated.  Hope you are feeling better - hang in there!!!  You are doing great!!

[40smama]

Thanks for asking cpatow!!  You're so sweet to think of me - I'm feeling so much better but today was a crappy day.  It's weird because I felt so good yesterday like my hormones were back under control and today I'm just tired and cranky.  Of course I got little sleep last night due to Noah not feeling good so it's totally understandable.  It's amazing how much sleep affects your whole outlook.  Dh took care of him this evening and I took like a two hour nap and feel like a new woman!!  I'm sure things will go up and down while we're trying to get a routine going but I think I've turned a corner if that makes sense.

mlb1234 - It makes me feel much better to know that I'm not alone.  I was (or still am) the same way - I can't stop crying over the stupidest things!  The other day, Noah was in his baby bouncer and when I turned the music on for him, I started crying because the songs sounded so sad!!  I realized then that I needed to get a grip and know these feelings wouldn't last.  Of course as I told cpatow, today was crummy but I feel like we've turned a corner.  I will take your advice; however, and talk to my ob if these feelings persist.  I'm being treated for depression anyway and am so thankful that I already am. - jen

[cpatow]

Gals,, you should have heard me last night and I don't even have my baby yet!!! I cried and cried and cried over so many things; now granted we have a lot of upheavel in our lives right now...I'm terrified this baby has Down's but need to accept that if it is true, my mom was just admitted to the hospital / severe pneumonia, I'm a consultant at work so I don't get maternity leave and anytime I do take off is w/out pay, blah blah blah. So I just lost it last night. My DD, DH, DS all think I'm nutso I'm sure and the "meanest mommy ever" and I don't even have my littlest guy home w/ me yet. Oy vay.

So a week from now I'll report back on how I'm feeling, but you are SO right that sleep is a huge majority of it. My DD never slept and she is who I had the worst blues with. My DS slept 22 hours for the first 2 or 3 weeks so I was always rested. HUGE difference.

But if I do get the blues I will absolutely feel okay taking meds as a new mom's sanity and togetherness has a huge impact on everyone and when you're feeling "right" then isn't life so much better? And w/ my DD, when I mentioned to my friends that I'd started taking something it was amazing to learn that nearly everyone else is, too.

So bottom line is these feelings are SO normal!! Ugh, I'm so not looking forward to that part of newbornhood...hopefully I will get a hall pass from them this time around.

Hugs,
cp