Concerns about one of my daycare children

[Cwhite1214]

I have a two year old who will turn three in a month, I am worried about some issues she is having but I also don't want to over react and involve the parent if this is normal. To begin with when she is asked a question, she looks at you as if she does not understand, she will instead repeat the last word of the question, for instance if you ask "are you tired, she will just say tired, or if you ask would you like a drink she just says drink, or do you want to go outside, she will just say outside. It is also very hard to get her to participate in activities we are doing, you will expain and show her what to do and she will just sit there or walk away. She would much rather be by herself. She also has an issue with seperation, for instance she must bring five or six special toys with her to daycare everyday and if you are reading her a book and she sees a page she likes she just will stay on that page and throw a tantrum if you try to read further, and everytime you go back to that book that is the only page she will open to. She also does a little flinch thing with her right eye. She will sit and watch a movie all the way through without moving and just randomly repeat phrases from the movie. She is behaved here at daycare as long as she can just sit alone with her own toys, but is very misbehaved to her mother, whom caters to her, rather than have her cry. She sits in time out for me fine but refuses to nap for her mother or sit in time out for her. Am I being worried over nothing?

[Myrna Libby, Ph.D., BCBA]

I think you have noticed some issues that may indicate some social or educational problems; on the other hand the child may be perfectly fine with some strong individual preferences.  Discussing your concerns with the parents should be done very carefully so you do not alienate or unecessarily alarm them and you should, of course, follow your daycare agencies policies about parental contacts.