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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
4 year old cries hysterically
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
4 year old cries hysterically
by betty408, Apr 30, 2008 01:59PM
My husband and I have a 4 year old son (and 2 year old daughter). They have been in daycare for 3 years with the same wonderful lady. She is a trained educational worker and only take in 5 children. In the last few months my son he has started crying hysterically when I leave. Today I had to leave work to go and see him. I settled him down, but he started crying as soon as I left. He cries at night too. I have reassured him everything is OK, we are a normal family with no unusual problems, or recents upsets. I have given him many time-outs, left him cry, and tried to walk away. Nothing works. Please help!
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Apr 30, 2008 02:53PM
, Apr 30, 2008 02:53PM
There is no need to use discipline - he is not misbehaving. The prudent strategy is to leave him in the hands of the daycare lady and leave. Do not return until it is time to pick him up. Otherwise you will be reinforcing the very behavior you want to eliminate. The same holds true at night. After his bedtime routine, leave the room. His instruction should be to remain in bed. Even if he cries, you needn't go in; it's OK if he cries. This situation will resolve itself if you don't defer to the crying. Some parents worry about adopting this approach because they fear that they are being cruel, or hurting, their child. But this will not hurt your son. He will learn that it's OK to stay at daycare and it's OK to fall asleep on his own at night.
