HELP - Stressed Out, And Worried (Erection Problem)

[FallofTroy]

Hello, I am 22 year old Male. This whole ordeal started about a month ago when one night i had a few drinks and i was going to make love to my then girlfriend of two years. I was horny, but during sex i was unable to maintain a hard erection and went soft after about 5 minutes. I had a strange feeling after It happend and i was lieing in bed obsessing about why I couldn't get hard. I didnt think much about it after awhile. I usually always maintain hard erections and i am usually around 5-7 inches depending on the day. Well in the last two weeks I broke up with my girlfriend, and I havent spoken to her since. It has been very hard for me, and since then I have had a hardtime maintainig a erection. Its got to the point where I jack off to test myself if i can get hard. I have a few girls that want to date me, and i am nervous that i wont be able to perfrom. It feels like i think about this all day, to where i now no longer get morning erections, I feel almost numb in my penis, and my sexual desire went down. I did however masturbate a few times this week to strong erections, while looking at porn. I am confused. I really want to believe that im having these issues because i am stressed out at work, i lost my girlfriend after 2 years. And its really been bothering me for 2 weeks, to where i am getting sad.  Also i have been working out very hard, and not eating much. I went from 235 to 216 in a span of 2 months. I have always had a real strong sexual appetite and it really bothers me. I really believe this is mental, I just cant think of ways to where i can relax and just go on a date, and not have these thoughts. It should be mentioned that i suffered from depression years ago, and had a mild form of OCD. usually just random thoughts over and over. If anyone can help, or make suggestions let me know. I think once i realize that for 22 years I have had real strong erections, and this is stress that maybe it will go away.

Thanks, Joe

[FallofTroy]

also, I do not drink or smoke. And have never had any real medical problems other then what was stated.

[Agiesmom]

If you are sure there is no medical reason (have you been tested for diabetes? are you on any medications?), then I'm guessing your obsessive worrying is the problem.  Are you on meds for OCD?  I'm not a doctor or anything, so this is just a guess, but I would imagine that worrying about not being able to is actually causing you not to be able to.  Especially since you can do it while alone (no one to worry about impressing or letting down or being embarrassed around).

Oh, and please use your imagination and avoid porn--the women involved in the sex industry are emotionally broken, have been seriously abused, and/or are addicts and they are being exploited for money.  It's interesting that the same men who enjoy porn would be horrified if their daughter, sister, mother, girlfriend, wife, or mother of their children would pop up in an internet porn search.

All the best to you.

[FallofTroy]

i have never been tested, because ive never had a problem, i still can get hard, it just seems like since all this stuff happend with my girlfriend i keep thinking about it, i am physically fit, and i have always had a crazy sexual appetite! I just need to think of a way to where i can not think about it and just let it go.

[Agiesmom]

Were you drinking each time you have had a problem?

I would see a urologist to make sure there is nothing going on.  And being tested for diabetes wouldn't hurt.  I would think that a urologist could help, even if there are no medical reasons for it.

I don't know what to suggest to help with the OCD-like obsessive thoughts, if that is what it is.  How were you treated for the OCD in the past?

I would guess that if there is no medical issue, once you let it go and stop worrying about it, it will be fine.

All the best to you.

[FallofTroy]

thanks for taking the time to comment back. At first i took meds for ocd, but after awhile i stoped and finally just realized that i was ok, and they went away. I do stress out very easily and i dont know why this thought is even in my head. I dont drink much, these "problems i have mainly are when i masturbate. I am highly attracted to females, and Ive had problems getting errect the first time i meet a girl, usually cuz im nervous. Its strange because i am a pretty confident person but when it comes to sex i get nervous very easily.

A perfect example, i was horny, and when i masturbated i was really strong and hard. However once i had the thought that i might lose it, the damn thing went down, I know this sounds crazy, but i dont know how to not think about it :(

[trevis]

i have had the exact same thing bud.. I talked to my girlfriend about it and she was great and it helped me.  Realise that there is no physical problem and that it is psychological.  And try to stop yourself from worrying about it.  Time is a healer but you need to stop worrying and take it slow and stop comparing yourself to how you were.