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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
sudden tantrums & change in behavior in my 4.5yo
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
sudden tantrums & change in behavior in my 4.5yo
by Jill929, May 02, 2008 03:17PM
My son has always had a more challenging temperment. When he was a baby, he was "colicky." At 3yo he had difficulty adjusting to preschool (and his new brother) and difficulty behaving at school (hitting, kicking, not listening and obeying). It took about 6 months for him to act normally and for us to not receive "incident reports" about him. We used a behavior chart at home, did role playing, time outs, etc.
Then our nanny went on maternity leave and we had to switch to a really expensive (the only one available) full time daycare for both of my kids. It was a little over the top - like Disneyworld meets Harvard. My son did great! He had good behavior at school, home, church, etc. He was a new person and we loved it!
We could not afford the school, so my when my nanny came back, we waited to get into a less expensive (but good) school near us for about 4 months. He did fine and seemed to enjoy being with his 18mos brother and our nanny's daughter (18mos).
We started the new (affordable) school 4 weeks ago. He has not adjusted well. Honestly, I saw changes in him about 2 weeks beforehand, but they have worsened significantly!!!! He used to love school and now he hates it. He is having temper tantrums and can not come out of them and recover. His teacher is very strict and has lots of "rules."
His school was at first helpful and now tired of him and inflexible. His behavior was bad at home and school, but now is mainly bad just at school. I really am worried that he feels like he is expected to be the "bad child" and acts out his label. I called his old school (the expensive one) and they said that this behavior did not sound like the boy they knew. Now we are thinking about changing him back to the school he did well in. I do not want more change nor my son to be at a school that has labeled him and written him off. What do you recommend?
Then our nanny went on maternity leave and we had to switch to a really expensive (the only one available) full time daycare for both of my kids. It was a little over the top - like Disneyworld meets Harvard. My son did great! He had good behavior at school, home, church, etc. He was a new person and we loved it!
We could not afford the school, so my when my nanny came back, we waited to get into a less expensive (but good) school near us for about 4 months. He did fine and seemed to enjoy being with his 18mos brother and our nanny's daughter (18mos).
We started the new (affordable) school 4 weeks ago. He has not adjusted well. Honestly, I saw changes in him about 2 weeks beforehand, but they have worsened significantly!!!! He used to love school and now he hates it. He is having temper tantrums and can not come out of them and recover. His teacher is very strict and has lots of "rules."
His school was at first helpful and now tired of him and inflexible. His behavior was bad at home and school, but now is mainly bad just at school. I really am worried that he feels like he is expected to be the "bad child" and acts out his label. I called his old school (the expensive one) and they said that this behavior did not sound like the boy they knew. Now we are thinking about changing him back to the school he did well in. I do not want more change nor my son to be at a school that has labeled him and written him off. What do you recommend?
Member Comments (2)
by caren28, May 02, 2008 09:58PM
To: Jill929
Just be glad that you have been fortunate enough to find a school that your son can adjust in. I am going through a similar problem with my 2yr old, and found your post while looking for advice. Thanks, for posting... at least I know that I am not unique :)
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., May 04, 2008 05:29PM
, May 04, 2008 05:29PM
The corollary to 'If its' not broken, don't fix it' is 'If it is broken, fix it'. If you know that the former setting was a good match for your son, then it is definitely worth considering having him return to it.
