please help...

[lovely909]

i have four children. 7, 5, 3 and a 5 month old. i dont have any trouble with the others but my 5 year old. it started when i had my 3 year old. she tryed suffocating her when she was 2 wks old. now she tryed it with the new baby.
she misbehaves at school, she isolates herself from other children and trys to hard to be liked. example: shell give something she really likes(money or toys) to another kid just to be liked. she recently started acting up with her teacher. the teacher asked for her to read her a sentence on the board and she read it backwards. exp:the cat is nice.
(nice is cat the). the teacher will talk to her face to face and she will tell her " what? i cant ear you"
she finds things such as people falling or accidents to be amuzing and funny. she throws a fit now when i ask her to go in the corner. she will tell my oldest things about me like "mommy doesnt know anything" OR "mommy is dumb".
im so fed up with her behavior and not to mention stressed out. i have tryed talking to her and i tell her i love her very much and i hate to have to punish her all the time. it almost seems like she has this down as a rutine that she doesnt care if she gets in trouble anymore. im so concerned for her behavior and im afraid i cant fix it before its too late.
please help!

[FSG]

Your 5 years old is a middle child. She might feel neglected all the time. She try to 'kill' the new ones because she though that htey are taking the love she deserve away.
For all your writing, I didnot spot anything that you do as positive emphasis. You may should praise her good behavior more than punish her. I believe she has good moment too, try to highlight those moment. For example, you can have a board for her at home, if she does any thing good, draw a little flower on it, accumulate 10, you can grant her a wish. She sounds like a very smart kid, her behavior is conveying her needs. When she acts out at home, try to ingnore her than have a drama. She may looks forward to having all the attention when she is bad. Praise her a lot when she can turn herself back from the bad moment.
Hope this can help you.

[lovely909]

You're so right, i didnt even notice it till you pointed it out... she is a great daughter and everything she does is not bad, but most of the time it seems that way. i did think before of what you said, ("She might feel neglected all the time & She may looks forward to having all the attention when she is bad").
Thank you for your advise, i will try out that chart to see if anything changes. thanks again. :)

[FSG]

Please try to involve her in taking care of little ones. When she does something not proper,eg, to rough to baby. Instead of saying 'donot be rough to the baby', say 'I think baby likes to be treated gentaly'. When she does well with the little one, always point out what a good helper and good sister she is. Let kids know how they should do much efficient than they how they should not to do. Try to say something to her whenever you can. She will feel noticed. I think she will be your sweet little pea again very soon.
Good luck!