7 years old Girl.

[mmhamzi]

I am a single father to my 7 years old daughter.  I have been a single father since she was one year old. She has seen and talked to her mother three times since she was one year old.  I worked from home at first and I can tell you they were the best years of my life.  In the past couple of years I have to go back to work full time and she has to live with her grandparents.  She is doing great in school and she looks very happy. But I travel a lot and I see her only about once every two month, we do talk almost every day, I know it does not the same. Anyway my question is: last week she came home with a bracelet, when her grandmother asked her where she got it from she lied and said “from her teacher, because she got good grade”, but when she asked her the second day she said from a boy at school, he told her she has to take it from him otherwise he will be mad at her…… yesterday she came with a boys phone number and she asked to call him at home.  For sure I said no, and she asked me why she cannot call him at home, I did not have an answer.  I did request from her that I will think about it and I will call her back tomorrow to talk about it. What do you say and do in this situation?   Thanks

[jdesouza]

I was talking to a friend with an eight year old daughter and he was talking about similar issues. There are many ways of dealing with this and what works for you will depend on her personality and your relationship with her. If she were my daughter I would have the same reaction as you and want her to keep her distance. However, I would be concerned that if she lied about who gave her the bracelet then she might just decide to hide her relationship with the boy. You are better of knowing about the relationship than having her do it in secret. On the other hand allowing her to engage in this relationship at this age could mean that she may want to get more involved in relationships at a younger age. My preference would be not to have her talk on the phone and instead have the boy come over for playdates to your house where they can be easily supervised. It is also important to have an open discussion with your daughter so she is comfortable discussing issues.
Good luck