am i cursed?

[soledad3]

Im 33 &just not realizing how my past affected me i feel like i sabotaged myself and my dreams by lettin my pa
lettin my pass sexual,mental abuse affect me im very intelligent ,but then again im not ,i should have more ,should've done more , im raising 2 autistic kids,i have arthiritis,and fibromyalgyia,my children are my life i love them,and treat them good because deserve it and deserve a way better life then me,but lately i look at myself and feel bad because im just not realizing how much i let all the things that happened to me sabotage my life,it's pretty depressing...,allways putting myself down even though people say im attractive,not having much self worth..i wish i could get those years back ,im tryin but its so hard to open up to people ..im still attracting the wrong people so i've asked God to take all the negative people out my life ,but now its pretty lonely,i would luv to have a healthy relationship but i feel like because i didn't get love as a child i'll be a burden on someone Can anyone else relate?
i've tried the whole dust myself off thing but i dont know wats goin on ..one setback or obstacle over another one..would be nice to have some peace 4 a change...makes me sometime wonder if there is a God

[jojoc37]

Hi, Really sorry to hear your having a bad time right now, Some people seem to go through life without a care or a worry then some people like you and me seem to have all the troubles in the world, I have a loving supportive family around me yet feel so alone in my battle of getting myself healthy again, i think we all are in that sense, You have had a terrible past and you cant change that but you can make a future for yourself and your children no one else will do that for you, You need to stay positive and keep telling yourself things will get better give it time, On the days you feel horrible just look at your children and get strength from them, you will no doubt have some lovely qualitys and would not be a burden to anyone more of a pleasure, Your still young so plenty of time to find that someone special as special as you are, I really do hope and pray you will have the strength to get over this bad time and have a lovely life which you so deserve, i will be thinking of you, keep me posted, jo

[soledad3]

thank u ..i really needed to hear that i have so many negative people around me so i really needed to hearr that,thank u and God bless u&i'll pray for u too

[StressedInsomniac]

Hi there if you have so many negative people around you the best thing for you to do i get them away so you can concertrate on getting yourself better :)

Good luck

Ben

[lorrainejoan]

I can really relate to you.I am just starting to realiize how my past abuse(physical& verbal) is affecting how I feel about myself & why I am never good enough. Give yourself credit for what you are doing. Raising 2 autistic cildren & having medical problems(I can relate to that too). You are doing a amazing job & trying to give them what you never had. Pat yourself on the back for what you are doing & work on changing what really bothers you. Good Luck.