sociopath

[deborahbaldwin]

My daughter is 16 now. Dhe has been in trouble with the law for the past 3 - 4 years. Was taking drugs in that period. She has now moved in with her 22 year old boyfirend. When she left the reason was that she needed to sort things out in her head. She has always seemed to only care about herself and not give a second thought to any one that she may hurt. when she sees the hurt she has caused she shows no emotion at all. This has happened even when she hurts the people closest to her and those she cares most about. A friend of mine keeps saying she is a sociopath. I have looked on the net for the definition of a sociopath and she does have a lot of those traits.
What can I do to help her?
What causes this?

[heartshapedpast]

i am 21 years old and have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder.  i have been in trouble with the law and also struggle with substance abuse.  my trouble started when i moved out with boyfriend who was 4 years older than me and i ended up in a domestic violence relationship.  my parents say i only care about myself and i don't care that i hurt the people that love me.  i can assure you, your daughter feels some sort of guilt for hurting you.  i know everytime i hurt my family, i felt so much guilt about what i did and i still do to this day.  i never showed any emotions about anything i did.  i never wanted my parents to know that it upset me that i hurt them.  the best thing my family did for me was stick by me through it all.  i still struggle everyday with my addiction and these disorders but my family never gives up on me.  i hope that i was able to help you out and any other questions you have i will be glad to answer.

[jo929]

You say she has been in trouble with the law about 3 years, this would have made her about 13, was she diciplined-any way? at home or was she ever in a place where the juveniles are taken,, was she taken to a dr to see why these thing were happening also 16 is young to start out with a relationship, and why would you let her,. I am not trying to judge, or run you down, in anyway, and i mean no offense in anyway, i am trying to see if she was ever diagnosed in any way, maybe she is labeled a rebal teenager,? I do know 16 is a little late, for dicipline, but you say you think she may be a-sociapath, you better hope not, because you are right about sociapaths they care, about no one .except them selves, it does not bother them, to hurt, or see any one cry, everyone is wrong, and they are right, and you can in no way change their mind look at all of the people in the news paper that were diagnosed as psycopath, also sociapaths even the serial killers still blame the victims for what they did , they still today show no remorse. but before she is labled, make sure th DR does the Labeling, and my advice to you is for you to go to a Dr, and ask his advuce on just what you should do. you may get her to a Dr, but it will be hard , and if she is a sociapath you will need lots and lots of support groups and people for your self, as there may be some help for her,we can all hope  I worked for many years in the state mental hosp not a therapist, i have seen many people, listened to many problems all ages and, back then there were really no labels for prople except part schizophrenic, and as progress moved forward, there were labels that the psyc used,never undeestimate a sociapath, remember, they think they are right, and you, anmd the whole world is wrong, and this is honestly the way they beleive, i have seen some of the PA where i was working forget just what they were there for, and one lady got so envolved with this young girl to the point where she believed every thing the 16 year old said,, so she took her home for a weeks visit because she felt so sorry for ,needless to say, the Pa lost alot, the girl  ran the phone up about2000, she found her charge cards, and this was really a lesson she could not afford, but she did learn a lesson, be nice, be friendly but know at just what point to think that you can judge the person and never try to make a decision on your own, this girl laughed all the way back to the hospital saying whata sucker,  what i meant by involved, she believed everything the girl said, and she was new, and was not listening with that third ear so to speak,I have heard that if one ever admits they are asociapath they can be helped, but there is no cure I do wish you lots of luck, as i know you are hurting over all of this

[jo929]

sorry about the spelling and typing i am new at typing, i usually go through and correct the spelling, i see i have also spelled sociopath    so sorry   jo

[deborahbaldwin]

To Jo929,
Discipline and help? Yes. I believe in discipline. Yes my daughter was 13 when all this started. I have taken her to 4 different councillors, including a psyciatrist, redbank, community etc. My biggest hurdle was that even though she was 13 I had no rights to physically keep her at home. At one stage I even asked the police to lock her up after she was caught with stolen bikes because I could not guarantee that she woudl stay home, they told me they were not allowed to. She has been reported missing about 5 or 6 times. As for leaving home at 16 to live with a guy - I have no rights, I cant say no you cant go because she is 16. The police can not make her come home. I have treid a lot of things to help her and to get her on the right track but nothing seems to get through. I blame the system a lot because there is this law called young offenders law that protects these kids. They have to have 3 warnings and 3 councelling sessions before they can be atually charged and then they get out on bail and even when they break those bail conditions they are still let off, so in effect the law is giving the message to these kids that what they do is ok.
Its very hard to watch my daughter smirking at the people she is hurting when she is hurting them.
What I would like to know is how does this happen to people? How do people become so detached from feelings. I never bought her up to be like this - in fact her brother is completely the opposite and he is only a year younger.
How do I help her?

[deborahbaldwin]

Hi,
thanks for your comment. I will never give up on my daughter, I only want to help her.
Can you tell me how a person turns out like this. does something happen when your a small child? I just dont understand.

[jo929]

I wish that i could ans your question, as to what, you can do to help,if she was just a rebel, she could change, but from what you say , it sounds like she may be a sociopath, i really do not know what to tell you, i had one rebel daughter, but she changed. I have worked so long in hosps and the Drs do not blame the parents, but according to Sigmund freud Father od Psychiatry, the parents are blamed for every thing but thank God all dr do not agree with his theory, as i do not I have seen people like this, as you describe, and i have heard the dr say there is no help, they are going to do what they want, and whent they, want, and it does not bother them, if you cry your eyes out, I know you want to help. but it is as you say, you cant tell her what to do, she is beyond  listening to you you may just have to let go, and try to go on, as i have seen this also, many of the people have ended up in prison, from crime dope ect the sociopath sometimes end uo there, and when they have a label of sociopath, they can seldom be helped, and it is in no way your fault if at anytime you need to talk just click on my profile, i am here 24/7 as my husband is an invalid,and i do not mind talkin with you even yho, i cant help, it may hel you to have someone to listen to you    luck   jo

[deborahbaldwin]

Thanks for talking to me and letting me know what you do know. i am going to talk to her doctor next week so will see how that goes and see what she thinks.
thanks again