night fears

[paula124]

My 14 year old daughter is having problems falling asleep at night. It started about 3 weeks ago. She insists she has to sleep with me. She says she's frightened and has scary thoughts. She has gotten herself so upset that she has even vomitted. My husband is living acroos the country and we only see him every two weeks. He has taken a new job and we are all moving in two months. When he is with us she also insists on sleeping with us. She is totally unreasonable. I don't know what to do to make her feel better. Please help. I need her to begin sleeping alone again.

[KatEyes]

My 10 yr old grandson is going thru something similar. Who knows what triggers these thoughts to take hold and be hard to shake. Kids today are exposed to so much scary stuff.

First, I think it might be helpful if she is able to tell you exactly what her thoughts are so you'll know exactly what you're working with. Also, now is a good time to infuse her mind with things not serious or intense - like watching comedies. Or find a cause that matters to her of helping someone else to get her mind off negative things. If all that fails, counseling may be in order.

One idea you could present to her is to put a baby monitor in her room so she can feel secure that you will hear her if she needs you. That seems a reasonable compromise, and hopefully she'll feel that way.  

[Suri123]

Hi Paula, how are you and how is your daughter doing? I understand your concern and it is quite common as a mother to be worried about your daughter sleep but do your daughter feel the same? At adolescence, such untimely awakenings and going early to bed or getting up early, little later sometimes is normal. Do your daughter has regular daytime sleep and how active she is physically and socially. Probably she might have witnessed a horror incidence or getting night terrors. Do you feel she is able to sleep without you comfortably or feels scared to sleep alone? It is better to give her an early dinner and follow a routine time to put her to sleep with some soft music or reading book. Warm bath and gentle body massage at bedtime can be soothing. Observe for some more time or else consult your family doctor, take care and share your thoughts.

[StressedInsomniac]

HI Paula, has there been any sudden changes in her life, as it could be stress maybe something that could of happend at school maybe ? Is she getting enough exercise?

Hope she gets better soon!

Ben!

[Suri123]

Hi Paula, how are you and how is your daughter doing now? Hope she might have feeling better and able to get some sleep. I do feel, you need to be more caring for her and not to get fussy about as she might not have been to sleep alone due to fear of sleeping alone or some sleep terror. Talk to her to know the reason for her to refuse to sleep in her room? It might be good idea to take her out on short vacation, as change in place can be helpful and relaxing. Do update if you had taken her to doctor for a checkup. Take care.