Is this more than 'normal' childhood sexual exploration?

[kellyc1]

My 6 1/2 yr old daughter was very recently caught in a closet with her best male friend, age 6 1/2 as well. These 2 are very close friends & have been since they were babies. As parents, we are also close friends.

After some interrogation, it was disclosed that her friend had 'sucked' on her private part (vagina) and he asked her to 'suck' on his penis as well. My daughter was very upset at what has happened & tells me she did not want to do this. He lied & told his Mother that she made up this game & later confessed to the truth. She tells me he kept bugging her until she let him do it & he kept on bugging until she did it once to him. He has done this several times to her before they were caught.

His Mother & I have talked very openly about this & we have spoken to the children about the severity of this act.

I am very concerned that this behaviour is beyond 'normal' childhood exploration. Should I be concerned further than I am? Should I take further action?

I don't know what else to do.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

There are many reasons why a child might repeatedly urge another child to engage in this sort of behavior. Suffice it to say that it does not spontaneously occur to children to behave in the manner you described. Something of a problematic nature has occurred; it's just not clear exactly what prompted the behavior,

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

If the facts as you understand them are accurate (that is, that the boy repeatedly initiated this activity and eventually your daughter cooperated), the concern would revolve more around the friend. That is, while it is normal for young children to be curious about such things, it is not the typical situation at all for children to think of sucking on each other's genitals. You are approaching this in a sensible, open way with the children and with the boy's parents. You are teaching them in the process, and setting firm limits as well. It would be prudent for the boy's parents to inquire further about his behavior and how it occurred to him to suggest the particular behaviors in which they engaged.

[kellyc1]

Thank you for your advice.

What would make a child do this? Do you have any thoughts around the reasoning? I just cannot figure it out & this is very difficult to deal with. This is a first & I am not sure where to go with this.

I appreciate anything you can offer. Thank you.

[FSG]

I have a daughter. If this happen to mine,I will stop the friendship right away and find a good reason to explain to my child why they cannot be firend any more. If they can be avoid to meet, I will sell my house and buy another one in different area. I might be overacting, but it is for my baby. I donot want her have any shadow in her heart on the way and when she grows up.