No Diagnosis Yet

[Hope2OneDay]

The pediatrician is concerned about our 12 month old because he hasn't begun to babble, he doesn't clap his hands or wave "bye bye" and he is very picky about food. He mostly eats pureed baby foods or very soft or creamy foods...no teething biscuits or cheerios, no chunky foods that he can pick up by himself. He acts disgusted if we put something (ex: banana chunks) on his tray and will push them to the floor with a look of disgust.

He is VERY interactive with us, and can be very social in the right environment, although many times he seems "wary" of outsiders and just stares at them. He can "give us five" and loves to play and read books. He's very bright, as he can bring you things upon request (ball, book, cow, etc...) or go to the proper toys when you hum a tune or mimic the noise they make. He doesn't really point at things, but will go to them and grunt, say aahhh or ohhhh, and even gets excited when he sees something he likes (such as the cat).
He knows our animals by their title AND by their individual names.

I'm very concerned about his inability to talk, point, clap, wave, and eat. He has reached all other milestones relatively early or right on target. We are in the process of having him evaluated (language-wise and a barium swallow test).

Does this sound like possible delays, or could it be something more? I'm so tired of hearing people tell me that everything will be fine, that he's just being lazy or that he's simply delayed,when it COULD be some form of ASD. I'm worried sick to the point of losing sleep. I feel angry, sad and frustrated.

Levi had a hard birth, and forceps were finally used to help things along after 3 1/2 hours of  pushing. When he finally did arrive, he wouldn't take his first breath and a team of doctors were called in to help him start. My guess is that at LEAST three minutes went by before they had him breathing. Could either of these (forceps or lack of breathing) be a possible cause for all of this? Is there hope?

[Rebecca MacDonald, Ph.D., BCBA]

Hearing that your pediatrician has concerns about your child’s development is upsetting but you should take these concerns seriously. I would suggest that you try to identify a hospital in an urban area where they specialize in diagnosis of children who present developmental delays. A comprehensive evaluation by a team of specialists will result in diagnostic information as well as treatment recommendations if they are deemed necessary. You can then take these recommendations to your local early intervention program for services.

[Sally44]

Of course there is hope, and bathtubs loads of it.  What your child is doing now is really positive stuff.  Any concerns by your pediatrician or yourself need to be followed up.  But every child is uniquely different.  Your child may be on the autistic spectrum, or they may have some developmental delay, or they may have some traits of autism or another disorder.  But he is interacting with you and that means a much more positive outcome whatever happens (even if it is autism).  Autism is a spectrum disorder, which means that the child/adult can be affected severely or mildly (or anywhere inbetween).
At the moment you are worried sick at the prospect that your child is not 'as you expected' and the implications for the future that that holds.  But with time, as you learn more about your son you will see that he too will develop and learn and achieve things, you will feel more positive about the future.
At the moment you are just at the start of a very scary journey, which as you have said also makes you angry/sad and frustrated.  But lots of other parents have done this and are doing it, so you are not alone.
If it does turn out to be 'something' I would recommend finding a parent support group because you will get lots of information and emotional suppport.

[Hope2OneDay]

Thank you...
You're right. I guess when I see all of the babies around me babbling away and being "normal", I can't help but feel a little cheated of what I feel I "should have had" in a child. It's not that I love him any less, because I don't. He is my heart.
But being around other people with kids who are clapping and babbling and doing so many things that he isn't is enough to send anyone over the edge...especially when I'm not even sure what the problem is yet. The "wait and see" game is unbearable when you know that every day that goes by without therapy is a day wasted.
I am trying to stay positive, but it's like a light switch flipping on and off. I can be positive one minute, but the next I get so frustrated...then feel guilty about it!

Anyway, thanks for your input and advice. I appreciate it!

[Sally44]

Every parent who has a child with any disorder will know what you are going through.  I would recommend that you just enjoy him and try not to 'play catch up' all the time.  It's very tempting to try and do it all yourself, but at the end of the day, having a good, fun time with your child is very important.  I tried to help my son keep up with school work, to no avail on my part, and tears and tantrums of his part.  I know it is frustrating when you feel that every day is a day lost in therapy.  But again these children can tend to develop at different times and tend not to develop across the whole range of a skill, so for example with speech they may be good at expressing themselves but have very little understanding of what is being said to them.  
You most likely will have times when you grieve for the child you thought you had.  But it is a strange feeling because on the one hand you feel like your expectations are shattered.  Yet, on the other than your child is happy/healthy and you wouldn't change them for the world.  I liken it to a merry-go-round.  I have periods when I feel okay and then I have times when I step on this merry go round of emotions.  So you are allowed to have a good cry, pick yourself up and get on with life.
As every child is affected by whichever disorder in their own unique way, I would start to become a bit of a detective.  Watch his behaviours and what he can/cannot do and try to find out what could be the root problem.
The evaluation process takes a long time, and it will involve lots of observations and paperwork, and you will need to become a secretary and make sure that everything is co-ordinated.  Make sure you always put things in writing and get written responses and file them and keep them for years!
For where you are now, probably the first service to become involved is Speech and Language Therapy.  I am not sure if it is this service that can teach signing, but you could find that out.  Starting with some signs will help reduce your child's frustration at not being able to communicate his needs, and it won't delay any spoken language, it will just help support it.
As he may have sensory issues I would recommend reading an article published in Autism Today by a woman called Olga Bogdashina.  If you google her name it will bring this article up.  She has conducted seminars in our area and this was arranged by our autism outreach department.  Her book Sensory and Perceptual Differences in Autism and Aspergers also has a profile checklist at the back that can give you an indication of how your child is affected.  Many professionals in our area are asking parents to complete this questionnaire about their children.  So, for example, your son may have problems with texture, taste and smell.  My son is affected in all senses, but mainly tactile and auditory sense.  Once you know that it will explain alot of their behaviour.
The book also explains about different learning styles from an autistic point of view which is very helpful.
To be honest, I don't really notice my son's difficulties so much at home, because it is simply how he has always been.  But as you say, when he is at a party I notice that he is different.
You don't mention anything about tantrums.  I know he is very young, but how does he handle change or you moving his toys or turning the TV off, or taking him to another place etc?

[Hope2OneDay]

He doesn't have tantrums at all. Unless you count the crying fits that he has when we leave him alone to play by himself. I can be in the kitchen where he can see me from the living room and he will sometimes play for a bit, but usually stands at the gate and cries for me (or dad) to come back. Once we're in the living room, he shuts up and will even go back to playing. I interact with him (some days more than others) while I'm in there, but sometimes I'll just read or watch TV on the couch and he's fine. This is what makes me believe he doesn't have Autism...that he's just delayed in some areas.  He HATES to be left alone for too long. He LOVES the interaction of people. He is more interactive with other babies when we're indoors as opposed to being outside. He doesn't particularly like the feel of grass or mulch that you'll find at the park (another texture thing?).

I'm just not really sure what's going on with him. Like we both said, there is a huge umbrella under which ASD lies. So it could be that he has a touch of it, or that he is simply delayed. As I said in my post, I wonder if it has anything to do with the hard birth and lack of breathing when he first arrived. The doctor who responded to my post  didn't answer that, so I have no idea.

I will definitely keep track all documents regarding his difficulties and will try to start a written journal of his progress so that I can be more aware. This is my first child, so I don't really know what to expect from him at different ages.

Thanks again for your help!

[Sally44]

It may be, as you suggest, some sensory issues and some autistic traits.  But I would get an evaluation and keep track of everything.  It is a positive thing if he wants you to be around and interacting with him.  Alot of parents usually say their child was very independent and could occupy themselves playing with puzzles/legos etc to the point that you wouldn't know they were there.  Other children tend to 'demand your time and socia interaction'.  But I would also say go with your gut feelings and get it looked at to put your mind at rest and so that any supports your child needs are in place for nursery/school.
I think you are never really going to get a definitive answer about the delivery.  I too had a difficult delivery with my son and had a severe infection afterwards with antibiotics etc.  But, so far, there is no definative explanation of where autism comes from.