inappropriate touching ?

[elijahs_mom]

My daughter who is 4 had a play date with two other girls. I will call them child B, who is 4 and child C who is almost 3.
Myself and the 2 other mothers were also at the play date. A few days later, child B somehow started a conversation with her mother that ended up stating my daughter touched child C's peepee. With more questioning from child B's mother, child B continued to tell the story of how my daughter took off the panties of child C and touched her peepee then took her panties and hid them. This supposedly took place upstairs and all mothers agree the girls were not upstairs long enough for something like this. They were in our sight most of the time and were not allowed to play upstairs alone. Anyway, when I questioned my daughter about this, she had a completely different story of what occurred. She said child C was trying to get her princess flashlight so she hid it behind the computer. Sure enough I went to check and it was there. I have not found any panties that are not my daughters. Child B also stated that my daughter was touched by her brother.( 9 yrs old). I asked my daughter very carefully some question to investigate that statement and she says no to it all. She never gave me any hesitation or reason to believe otherwise. Now, we all agree that children of this age will experiment. And maybe my daughter did touch child C. I don't know. But what do we do now. I am afraid they will all think my son is touching my daughter and she is doing it to her friends because of it. My son is ADHD and has is behavioral issues but I do not believe that he is doing anything with my daughter. He really doesn't even like his sister. She bothers him and he would rather be alone.
Can you give me some advice on how to handle this? Or some things or signs I should look for. Should we believe the story of child B. Please advise.

[LRM1021]

You investigated, found no evidence to back up the story, and you have no reason to believe that your children did anything wrong. I think you're done with that part. If the other parents think something, well-- so be it. There is nothing you can do about that -- you are in the clear.   If the one child had her panties taken away some mother would have noticed-- so Child B is not telling the truth -- for whatever reason.

I read this several times, and the conclusion I have reached is as follows-- someone needs to follow up with child B -- that child is telling stories about things that are a bit scary -- someone needs to find out if someone is doing somethint to child B -- because often children who are being abused will tell stories about it with other people/ places/ events in the story, because its too scary and/or painful to just discuss what is happening to them.

Finally, ADHD does not make children do the things that child B described. Children will  experiment, or repeat abuse that has been done to them, when it comes to sexual type behavior. This applies to all children -- ADHD ones and non ADHD ones included. I say this as a parent of a child with ADHD, and as a person who has experience with children who have been abused. The two are separate.