Daughter Sent to School Office for Tickling

[karens234]

My 8 year old daughter’s 2nd grade teacher had my daughter call me at work from school to tell me that she had “inappropriate behavior”. My daughter was very upset and crying while talking to me.
The behavior was: that my daughter and her friend, a 8 year old boy whom she has been friends with for almost 4 years both in school and out, (they are in karate together as well as family friends) were tickling each other at recess.
I asked my daughter if there was any touching “where bathing suits cover” there was not.
The areas that were being tickled were the neck, ears, sides and knees.
The playground supervisor had told the two to stop tickling each other, but within a short time they were tickling each other again. This is why the children were sent to the office.
I spoke with the teacher (same phone call) and she stated that she did not see what had happened. Confirmed what my daughter had told me. She also stated that she didn’t know how to handle the situation and was going to speak to the Principle.
My daughter is very upset over this and feels that she is a “bad girl”. I am very upset and angry over the words “inappropriate behavior” and the way the situation was handled.
My husband and I have an appointment to meet with the Principle and Teacher to discuss this matter.
Is our school overly paranoid that behaviors like this will lead to other behaviors or is what the world has come too?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Perhaps you can use the opportunity of this meeting to establish some sensible, level-headed standards. Behaviors such as those that you describe can be dealt with, if intervention is needed at all, with simple limit-setting. They needn't be framed or couched as inapropriate if, by use of the term, is meant to imply some sexualized component to the behavior. It is possible for schools, in a sincere attempt to be responsive to societal concerns, to go overboard and mischaracterize typical childhood behavior.

[srb122498]

I don't know how you handled this. But I would go BALISTIC on the school! I would speak to whoever witnessed the incident. I would speak to whoever sent my child to the office. I would speak to the principal. I would speak to everyone! The teacher said she did not witness the incident and that she was going to speak to the principal. But the teacher is the one that had your daughter call you and tell you that she had "inappropriate behavior"! I would have a few things to say to the teacher also!! If you don't get proper results, you can speak to the superintendent. But I would not let this go without EVERYONE at the school knowing exactly who I was and what I thought about what happened!! Hope your meeting goes well!!