Slipped up yesterday due to more of a craving to feel a taste of happiness more than opiate high

[corey411]

Yes right in the middle of week number 6 I caved a little. Coming back from vacation and going back to work was a difficult adjustment. On the way back my son called and told me one of my ex-husbands brothers was in a coma from a suicide attempt.He was having some family problems and just wrote a note, went to a park and took all of his perscription medicine. Someone found him but it sounds like it was too late. He's not responding to anything and attempts to take him off of a ventalator caused seizures. I woke up yesterday thinking that just staying asleep doesn't sound too bad. I know that I'm depressed but it's really strange bc its so transitory. I wake up feeling like I don't want to be alive and by the middle of the day I feel better and by evening I feel pretty good most of the time.I've been able to rationalize this and remind myself that I will feel better as the day goes on and that has worked. I felt like I just had to feel better and hold onto it longer. What really stinks is I caved bc I found 9 Darvocet.They actually did make me feel a little better but not really high so that's a good thing. I know what that leads to and threw the last 2 out the window of my SUV and into the woods. I'm not sure whether I want to make an appointment with my doctor and get on antidepressants or not. I've been on so many different ones when my son died and when my other son was addicted and the last one that I was able to tolerate the side effects from didn't really feel like it did a whole lot. I'm walking when I can. I just can't seem to handle that gloom and doom feeling that comes and goes. I know antidepressants work different on everyone. Any suggestions on one I should ask for?

[strugglingmomma]

Can't really tell you what to ask for because from what my dr. said every med is different and effects everyone differently.  I have been on Zoloft for years now.  It took a while for me and my dr to find the right one.  Alot of them made me sadder than I already was so please be careful.  I am so sorry you are so sad.  I have that gloom feeling right now too, I do ALOT of praying and read alot of posts on this website.  I really hope you get to feeling better.  Good job on throwing the pills out the window.

[confused456]

So sorry to hear all that you are going through Corey. You can get back on track and not sure about the anti-depressants but I would talk to your Dr. about it.

[worried878]

Lots of different ADs out there...zoloft and paxil i know work well for anxiety type depression...lexapro and celexa too,,,wellbutrin works for debilitating depression where u cant get out of bed....lexapro works ok for me but not on it...elevil at night can help with sleep and drepression..talk to ur doctor about it...the depression is the hard part for me at times...exercise too!

[corey411]

Thanks, I had Wellbutrin before and it seemed to help then my doc wouldn't put me back on it bc he was getting slack from the insurance companies questioning whether it was being used for smoking cessation. It takes so long to find out if these things are going to help or just make things worse. I was taking Effexor CR and I'm not even sure it as doing anything. I didn't notice a change when I weaned myself off but my reason for depression was resolved.I definatly need one that lifts me up and doesn't make me feel tired and empty.

[Mikeinthesouth]

Dont sweat those few darvocet you are going to be ok. Hang in there corey we luv ya. Mike

[confused456]

Have you tried any of the Amino's for mood? They do actually work rather well.

[worried878]

5htp and methionone...theanine are good mood aminos