My son has me so worried! Bleeding pure rectal blood

[momma_onamission]

My son is 27 years old and he is addicted to cocacine and marijuana! A day can not go by without using! He is angery, irritable, a slob, and doesnt care about anyone or anything. He get friends a few years younger than him and dictates everything they do. Its like they all let him be in charge and they will do anything he says. My son is abusive and self destructing!
We are a high profile case and I usually dont go into blogs like this but I am seeking help! My son is either going to die or go to prison. He does not want help, he explodes when i mention anything about help. I have an organization and I am very helpful to so many kids and parents...just a horrible feeling. I have tried and tried and tried.
My son called me in the restroom and I just about fainted. It was PURE blood in the toilet! Lots of it, it was as if someone poured a whole bottle of red dye in the toilet. he said he has had it now for about 7 months. He is always blowing his nose and has a nasty cough especially when he gets up in the morning.
A month ago, I packed his stuff up and put it at the door, he got it and threw it all over my house punched walls and then went to his room and literally picked up dressers and threw them, putting holes in the ceiling and walls.
I am mentally hurt, exhausted and just outright helpless!
Restless mom in Tampa

Please let me know what my opinions are, I probably know just dont want to hear it...I am afraid he is going to bleed internal and die!

[worried878]

He may be bleeding internall and needs to go to the er immediately

[momma_onamission]

I guess I need to hear something that I can say to him to make him go to ER, he refuses and actually left this morning after I tried to talk him into going. What can you say to someone who is so deep into it and doesnt want help! I know he does deep down but he is on that tough guy role.

[kim715]

I wish so much that I knew the right words to say to you or that I had a worthy answer for you.I'm afraid I would fall short and I would never think to offer up advice unless I was absolutely sure it would be of some help.I can tell you that there are other mothers here in your situation as well as recovering addicts who have used the same drug as your son and most likely shared some similar experiences in relation to health and family issues.Someone with much more knowledge will come along so hang in here.I will offer you and your son my prayers and hope that you both soon find the answers you are looking for.Peace.Keep posting.

[momma_onamission]

Thank you Kim!

[enemy48]

My heart goes out to you.  We love our children so much.  I don't think I could be capable of doing what I'm about to tell you.

My very good friend lost her parents when she was of legal age, but had 3 younger brothers & sister that she had to raise until they finished their school and were out on their own.

Two of the sibblings had drug addictions.  She did the tough love thing.  OUT!  They had to find out on their own that there was no longer someone there for them.  One straightened up quick and learned her lesson fast.  The other however, (brother) did not.  He got in trouble time after time, and later on without a choice finally got on the right track.  

She never let them back into the house since.  Even though they both cleaned up, she didn't want to give them te second chance to mess up again and put her through all the agony again.

They are so grateful to her.  It's been several years since this.  (About 15)

Like I said, I don't know if I have that much toughness in me to do it to my child.  I just wanted to share this with you.

[allaboutmary]

I feel so awful for what your going through. I know it is just breaking your heart. I watched my mother go through this with my brother (different drugs). My mother attended Alanon meetings for years. I think they would tell you not to enable him. Which probably means through him out and let him hit bottom. I truley know this is soooo much easier said than done.
Your son definately needs to see a doctor. Blood coming from anywhere is not good, but something that might ease your mind a bit is that red blood means its fresh and could possibly be coming from an internal hemaroid (sp). Blood that has gone through the intestines & colon is usually black and looks like coffee grounds. Please know that I am not saying he doesn't need medical attention. I just thought this might calm you a bit.
Keep reading and posting here. There are many mom's here in your situation that will probably be able to help you more. My thoughts are with you.   Mary

[sadinmichigan]

I am so very sorry about your situation..I have to say that I agree with Enemy. Your son is 27 yrs old..I have had to do the tough love thing as well..It is not easy by any means!! But it is necessary..You are enabling him to have the freedom in mind if knowing he has a place to sleep..food in his stomach and a mother who loves him..I am not saying to not love him..BUT you can not make him do anything. He has to hit the bottom like so many others have including myself when I was younger. I have 6 kids and have had to go through some pretty heartbreaking things. You can either give him an ultimatum..if you continue to let him stay with you or kick him out...where does he get all this $$ for his drugs? Does he pay rent? or work? Do you have other children watching this happen? (sorry for all the questions) I am in the middle of some very heartwrenching things with my daughter who is 22..hurts like no other..If your son destroys your property etc..you need to call the police..he needs to know that you are NOT going to let his addiction run or ruin your life. You could go and have him committed for 72 hrs if you feel he is a danger to himself and/or others..If he doesn't want to go to the hospital there really isn't anything you can do. He is an adult and has to care about himself more than you do...Alot of us on this site have been on the path your son is on and has been on..It is still up to him..He needs to really hit the bottom..what he decides is his choice..He isn't at the bottom when he has a place to destroy, people that bend over backwards still,pay his bills, put food in his stomach and a roof over his head..I am sorry if i am sounding harsh..but I am at my wits end too with 2 of my kids..I know how bad it hurts..

[flmagi]

Like Mary said, Your son should be checked by a doctor, but chances are its something like hemroids, since it is fresh blood.
Get to some alanon or nar-anon meetings. They will help you with what needs to be done with your son, which is tuff love. This has to be made his problem, not yours, unless he surrenders and asks for help.
Yes, easier said than done.
Take care of yourself first.   Good luck to you and your son.
Magi

[WANTOFFYESTERDAY]

you know what you need to do, it just isnt easy.  It wont be any easier for you to stop enabling him then it will be for him to stop using.  Unfortunatly, that is the cycle a lot of families get into, in my experience anyway.  As for the blood--i did the same thing, both while i was on drugs and before, my GI Dr. said that the blood being bright red is much better than it being dark and thick-- that means that it is probably somthing like an internal hemroihd (?) it still needs to be checked out, but internal bleeding or a more serious origin usually is thick, dark and tarry.  Good luck!  Here if ya need anything

[Jacqui805]

There are MANY reasons he could be bleeding from the rectum, and all of 'em require a visit to the E.D.

[avisg]

MOM,
As worried said plz get him to the ER ,the blood is coming from somewhere .I went threw this not to long ago it scared me to death and it was only had the blood a few times . Once that is under control then try to see if you can convince him he needs help.
The hardest part is you cant make people get help that don't want it .That is the heart breaking part.
avis

[Kat8843]

U need 2 get him to a ER now!!!!!!!!!!!! rectal bleeding is VERY serious if it was that much blood it is NOT hemmroids it could be internal bleeding from the cocaine abuse or if he is a heavy drinker. I am a nurse and i am telling u that u need to take care of this NOW after it is under control then try to get him help with the other problems but the rectal bleeding is a serious matter!!!!!!!!!! Not only could it be internal bleeding it could lead 2 rectal cancer if untreated plz try 2 tell him this and maybe it will scare him into going to ER maybe losing his life will b scary enough???? Best of luck and u and ur son r in my prayers!!

[Jacqui805]

btw, in case anyone doesn't know, E.D. is emergency department... sorry

[pdiddy75]

I am soooo sorry you are dealing with this. I am a mother of 2 young boys...and I cant even imagine the hurt you must feel....BUT....

#1...you HAVE GOT to find a way to get him to an ER...ASAP! I worked in one, and we did STAT tests when patients would come in with even "little" amounts of recal bleeding<