Going back to work

[maybebaby29]

What will do you? Who is going to watch your baby? I can't stand the thought of putting my infant in some stranger care. We're going to see if my husband's cousin will do it (we don't mind paying her). She used to be a preschool teacher. I'm just worried about burdening her. Other than that, we're kind of short on a list of people we know. My husband has his own business so he's thinking he can cut his hours to 3 hours a day or mix it up. As for me, my company's policy is come back full time or quit. They're not very forgiving with the flex time.

I don't even know how to go about asking for infant care in case his cousin turns us down. I like montissories (know it's misspelled) but it seems those are for toddlers (which I really want to get my child into one).

Thoughts?

[alikat1205]

I did a daycare when my oldest was 12 weeks.  I did not want a nanny, b/c I wanted more control.  In a daycare, there are videocams, and supervisors.  For me that was very nice.  With my youngest daughter, I quit my job and stayed home 9 months.  Then, again, I did a daycare situation, and it truly worked very well for me.  You need to check them out, of course, some are better than others.  I wish you luck finding a situation you feel comfortable with!

[carpediemforlife]

I dont know what you do for a living.....but Ive met several folks who found jobs working from home to take care of their kids.  I am quitting my company and working for myself as well. But I still need someone flexable enough for "drop in" care in the event I have to meet a client.  So Ive got some time to figure this last part out....but I think Im just really going to focus on finding someone Im comfy with either coming IN or daycare wise.

[Tanker Chic]

I just started back to work this week.  It totally sucked.  I was completely distracted all day thinking about Jacob.  As soon as it was time to leave I would race out and drive to pick him up....  I'm not in love with his daycare situation.  I really like the director but I'm not completely crazy about one of the two ladies who watch the infants.  I feel like she tells me what she thinks l want to hear instead of the truth..  Maybe it just takes time to build trust.  I don't have any family members or friends that can watch him so I have to go with daycare... I didn't like the idea of home daycare (since I don't know them) because it is too private and no body else would be around to watch them.  If it was someone I knew that would different.  

Also, after I pick him up I feel like I have to spend every second with him and hold him until he falls asleep.  He is falling asleep earlier and earlier these days so I have even less time with him.  I just love him so much and it breaks my heart to leave him.  

[alikat1205]

tanker,
i know exactly what you are going through.  with my oldest daughter, i remember picking her up one night at 6 and she fell asleep in my arms at home at 6:30.  I cried all night long.  it hurts.  you are only one person, you can't be in two places at one time.  try to give yourself a break.  you are providing for him the best way you can.  it will get better.  you are not the only mother to go through this (i don't say this to lessen the hurt, but only to let you know, you aren't the only one who has made this choice, and the children have been okay - you aren't a bad mother for doing it) hugs.

allison

[desp]

I'm lucky since both my mother and sister live within 20 minutes of me. My sister who stays at home with her school age children is going to watch my son. And I still have my mom as a backup. I don't know if i could choose a daycare. Its so hard to leave them. I would love to stay home but it just isn't an option for my husband and I. But if I can't stay home, family is the next best thing.

[mlb1234]

Hannah - I felt the same way about Isabelle last week.  And this weekend it was especially hard for me to put her down.  I just wanted to spend every second holding her and kissing her.  I hope she does OK with daddy tomorrow and that I didn't get her all screwed up by giving her too much mommy attention this weekend!!  I agree - work sucks - even though I like my job and the people I work with - it still sucks!!  Nothing is worth leaving my baby girl for!!  I hope you have a better week this week!!!!!
Lisa

[maybebaby29]

Unfortunately, even though a web manager sounds like you can work from home, trust me when I say in this city, everyone wants on site work. Plus I'm the provider in the house (majority of salary and all benefits). My husband owns his own business but he does contribute. But I'm the one who provides 80% of everything so we need my salary. Unfortunately the company is a little hypocritical about their flex time options. Some divisions will allow it (can't transfer since there is only 1 website) and even in our own division certain favorites got preferred treatment and they get to work from home 1-2 days a week.

[40smama]

maybebaby - I sure wish I had a solution for this problem - I faced it years ago (and a little now) when I worked full time and had no family around to ask for help.  I say ask the cousin - I mean what's the worse that can happen?  She'll just say no and you'll move on.  What about having your dh provide some of the care and bringing someone into your house to watch the baby?  Does your dh work at home?  Then maybe he can keep an eye on the situation at least for a while.  I'm going to have to hire someone to come into our home part-time.

[maybebaby29]

He owns his own business and travels to see clients (around town) and doesn't have a real consistant schedule. Some days he's home all day. Some days he's with clients and at his shop. Some days it's split. What we are trying to have ideally is him work 3 hours in the morning or afternoon with a quick stop at the shop and then the rest of the time work at home with followup of clients, emails, etc. The 3 hours would be with his cousin. I hope she says yes. She used to be a preschool teacher and is great with her daughter. I think her husband just quit his formal job to open his own contractors job so they're both really good with kids. Her own child is 1 (or is it 2? Oh I'm so bad) so it's not like 2 infants and the word. Plus 3 (maybe 4 hours) isn't that bad.