clingy child

[mumsyofonr]

Im a single parent and my nearly six year old daughter wont let me out of her sight.  She's ok going into school and she's very sociable.  But even when she is out playing she has to come in every so often to check im ok.  I thought she would have grown out of this by now but its getting worse.  I never went out much when she was a baby and now that i want to go out socialising she goes into hysterics ive tried going out but usually get a phone call within the hour to come home.  She follows me around the house all the time and even into the toilet, ive tried to explain to her that nothing is going to happen me but she just keeps saying that she's afraid someone will rob me.  I adore my daughter but im afraid im going to resent her for not letting me go out, even if its once a month or once every two months i wouldnt mind i just need a break and to get out socially.  Can someone PLEASE give me advice on how im going to be able to deal with this

[jdtm]

I suspect your daughter is suffering from anxiety (possibly generalized anxiety or  separation anxiety).  There is a difference between an anxiety disorder and anxiety and if your daughter is coping at school, I suspect her anxiety is not severe.  Nonetheless, by not going out socially and having your own life, you are robbing yourself of that "much needed break" that all parents need.  Also, by being available to your daughter at her every beck and call, you are not helping her to become independent but "enabling" her in her dependency and "feeding" her anxiety.  I know it will be hard to leave - she'll cry and carry on - but sometimes, as parents, we have to do what is best for our children - not necessarily what they want.  Just make sure when you leave her, the person is one she trusts and likes, and also let her know where you are going and when you will be home (leave your cellphone at home).  It will take some time, but when she knows you always do what you say you will do, she will begin to trust you and then, trust herself.  

I might also suggest you google the term "childhood anxiety" or "separation anxiety" or similar terms to find more information on the internet.  If this anxiety does become more severe, then you may wish to consult your family physician.  I wish you the best...