5 year old of split home seems depressed

[MomTwoBoys]

I remarried when my son was a year old and my husband has been a great step father.  My son's father left the picture for a year when he was four years old.  My son has always been such a sweet, well-behaved child; but he had a hard time recovering from this rejection.  His father came back (judge ordered) recently and spent 3 two hour supervised visits with him over a 5 month period.  He has been put into jail for refusing to pay any child support.  Since he's reappeared, my son has been joyless, defiant, overly sensitive, and extremely defensive about his father, even though we try not to speak badly of him.  My child is also very angry and has become hostile and hurtful towards his step father.  He retreats to video games (which we see as an escape), gets no joy out of play, and has even physically tried to hurt my husband when he's angry.  He believes that we are keeping him from his father and we are concerned about his personality and how this will affect him as an adult.  We really do not know how to address this behavior or how to help him cope with his feelings and direct him in a positive way.

[Agiesmom]

First of all, say nothing bad EVER about his father.  Seriously.  You can't do that.

He is probably very confused and hurt and is obviously angry.  I would talk to your pediatrician about it and possibly seek counseling for him.  In the meantime, continue to be loving, supportive, and good to him.  Validate his feelings.  Keep reassuring him that you will always be there no matter what.  And never speak in a bad way about his father.

[treazzure007]

I cant help but feel like he knows and has learned too buch of the bad info.  5 yr olds are still little kids in la-la land.  My husband is my 6 yr olds stepfather.  

[treazzure007]

Im sorry I clicked the button by accident.  I was just trying to say that my son's too young to even remember how he even came to have a stepfather much less the bio-father that dropped out of the picture years ago (thank goodness) Im careful that he knows none of this.  Be careful that your son never "overhears" such conversations and don't bother mentioning things like child support, jail and visitations around him as well.  Its not clear whether or not his father still has appointed visitations but its also possilble that he or even his family could "poison" the mind of the little one causing him to act the  way he's been.  Whatever the case, I think for sure it's all learned.