Consistent Relapse

[InSequence]

Hello All,
I'm new here. To be honest I'm not quite sure what to expect...Maybe simply have a social place to talk and vent when I'm hit with the urge.  I've been an alcoholic for about a year, weird when I'm only the age of 23.  I know what triggered it, a lot of things buried within.  I read a lot and have studied this condition as well...so I suppose if I can't help myself, perhaps I can help you and gain the support I need from you all.  
I've attempted AA and I don't like it...too religious for my taste, and almost boarder line cult-like if you want a true personal opinion.  After all can't judge one from opinion, but the way one carries ones self.  =)
Alcoholism can be something an addictive personality craves, or it can be triggered by a strand of emotional times.  Mine may be both considering it runs in my family and about a year and a half ago I was devastated emotionally.  To be fair everyone experiences hardship I'm not really any different.
I suppose introduction was necessary in order for me to feel deemed "allowed" to really post my problem.  I continuously relapse.  I go well for a while, sometimes feeling fine, other  times feeling down or at best neutral, and eventually I simply don't care.  I drink and numb myself out, and when I think it will be one day, it evolves into many.  I was thinking maybe a way to control my urge are t o post my thoughts here, that's if I don't drive the forum community to a strong trend of annoyance.  =).  I hope to perhaps return the favor in supportive posts in return...wish you all well
- I'll keep my name as anonymous for now

[Casper157]

Hi there and welcome! I'm not an alcoholic but I'm married to one so from a partners point of view it really sux because i am suffering right along side him, watching him kill himself while I talk to a brick wall, at least you have the guts to admit you have a problem, my husband wont even admit that. For the sake of your future partner, please dont do to them what i am having done to me, dont let it get to the point where you are waiting for a liver transplant because that is what will happen if you keep drinking heavily for the next 20 years. The people here are very helpful and can relate to what you are saying so some good advice will be along eventually. C.

[Jacker]

Everyone is allowed to post here and everyone is accepted.  You can post your thoughts on the main forum, and your profile will also allow you to keep a public journal of thoughts that people can read and comment on.   Just remember we're all giving our personal opinions from our own experience.  Some opinions may be of help, and some may not.
Some may disagree with me on this but don't be too quick to label yourself an alcoholic at age 23, with 1 year of drinking under your belt.  I don't know your history, and you probably have an alcohol abuse problem ('cause your here), but I don't believe that all abusers are alcoholics.  That being said, if it is causing problems in your life and you can't control it, then you should stay away from it (or alcohoism will be where you're headed).  Give a little personal history, and others can possibly offer their thoughts.  
As far as aa, it doesn't work for everyone, but do your best to hang around with non-drinkers - it will make life easier.  

[InSequence]

Casper,
The most effective way to get through to your husband...wouldn't be in pointing out that he has a problem...but to explain that you can see he is in pain....and are in fear that he is truly hurting himself...  I can't truly comment too far because it isn't my place and you may have already taken this approach...but i know anytime someone has brought it to me in a form of accusation I've always denied it or simply ignored it...

As for me...I've gone through withdrawal, I've gone through relapse.  I black out....I have the characteristics...and the family past..

I appreciate the kind words.

[Casper157]

I have tried every approach possible from pleading, begging, being nice, being sympathetic, empathetic, crying, giving ultimatums so now I just wish he would admit the problem so we can start a road to recovery but his denial is just getting us nowhere.

I know what you are saying though about being accusatory, because he just leaves the room when I start in on him, it's very frustrating when you dont know how to solve a problem, his mother was an alcoholic too so i think genetics do play a part in it. He says he drinks because he likes it, he is bored and needs an outlet, he doesn't mention pain at all and he smokes a packet of cigarettes a day, another problem i have to deal with.

You are only young and have time on your side to kick this and to sort yourself out and you'll get lots of help here to guide you. best wishes. C.

[ibizan]

i b-gan drinking at 14 first blackout..thought that was normal......voice inside me said at 19 ur an alcoholic and a pothead...but thought i was immortal,invincible...tried like hell to control it and failed miserably a zillion times and got sober at 28...am now 52.Blacking out,withdrawals,loss of control of alcohol are alcoholic signs..u know what u r......if AA is not ur gig and u cannot/willnot go in there and take what u can use and leave the rest.......then u must develop a sober support system.....got one?

[InSequence]

Not something that is completely reliable...

I'm a poet...read alot....open up here and there...i hold alot inside.

[itsmylife1222]

if you will, please read what i wrote on the "i can't do it on my own and still can't" thread. i felt as you do about aa for many, many years. i cannot tell you whether or not you are an alcoholic--only you can do that but i will tell you that i am and i cannot do it alone. there are other ways to get sober so if aa is not for you i would suggest searching for a support group that you can stick with. please do not die of close mindedness. we lose many that way. btw, i am a published writer and poet. i wish you the best in whatever you decide....devon

[Tink70]

Self Realization will not help you.  Self Help books, College educations, rationalizing etc, etc, etc..will not help you.  You sound like you need to be in rehab.  I had to go - I just couldn't do it by myself even WITH the meetings.  I HAD to be taken out of the situation I was in - placed in safe surroundings where there was NO liquor or booze and some good counseling and some medical attention if I needed it.  No shame in that!  It was the best thing that ever happened to me!  I was in and out of AA and relapsing for 4 years.  Some people can just walk into AA and never pick up again - others can't.  AA KEEPS me sober  but Rehab GOT me sober!
All the best to you!
Keep It Simple

[Stelco]

Try "The Easy Way to Quit Drinking" by Allen Carr.  It is fashioned after the Rational Recovery belief system.  All of the AA devotees here will bash both of these because they are "taught" that their way is the only way.  If the first book doesn't quite do it for you Rational Recovery offers a book.  

I needed a few days of detox because the idiots decided that I should be able to cold turkey alcohol and Xanax.  By cold turkey I mean 5 mg. of Valium every six hours.  That's like giving a horse with two broken legs an aspirin.  I was in a hospital and on telemetry, so the heebee geebees were just something that I had to deal with until they sprung me.  At least if I went into convulsions, or cardiac arrest, I was in the hospital.  I popped a couple of Xanax as soon as I got out of there and I was fine again, after three days of hell.

I started drinking when I was 12.  I was drinking every day by 16.  I quit at 48.  I only tried to quit once.  I've never been to an AA meeting and never will go to one.  I've been sober since October.  I'm still on Xanax, but that was the only drug that doctors could find that would control my hypertension.  I've been on it for about ten years and it still works, so ignore folks that say it's only good for short term.  As far as kicking the booze, try the book.  It makes sense to folks who think that AA doesn't make sense.

[ibizan]

I would not call myself a devotee of AA....but it and NA helped me to acheive 24 years of sobriety.I have the original Small Book by Jack Trimpey which pioneered Rational Recovery.It is a great book.Also Sobriety Without Religion by James Christopher which spawned SOS meetings on the west coast is good stuff.In 1983 i went thru withdrawal from valium,alcohol and cocaine and the docs wouldn't give us a thing!stick a towel in ur mouth and chomp on it they said!:)There are many different roads to recovery...i like them all...take what i can use and leave the rest.....Buddhist philosophy also has great techinues for anger/stress management in this too fast paced stressed out everybody in a hurry to go nowhere world!I know my ways are not the only ways...ppl must find/personalize their own way!