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Mental Health (Expert Forum)
Coping with depression
Questions posted in the Mental Health forum are being answered by Dr. Roger L. Gould, author of the Mastering Stress and Depression program and affiliated with the UCLA. Department of Psychiatry. Topics covered include anger, attention deficit disorder (ADD), bipolar disorder, dementia, electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), learning disabilities, memory, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), panic, personality disorders, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), schizophrenia, stress, transitions, and work problems.
Coping with depression
by DizzyDolly, May 10, 2008 01:41PM
Hi
I was diagnosed with depression and OCD about three years ago.
I'm finding it very hard to cope with everything, as I seem to have no control over any part of my life. I feel like my emotions rule everything I do. I obsess that people will think I’m disgusting and that I will fail in everything I do if I don't make sure every piece of work I do is in my opinion acceptable or if I don't make sure I am clean and I feel my appearance looks ok, though I never actually feel happy with it anyway. I feel that these rule how I spend my time and have no concept of time whatsoever, so I’m always, always running behind or being late. Whenever I try to seek help, by the time I actually get an appointment for therapy, my emotional state has changed and I have no motivation to go. One minute it seems I feel suicidal, then I feel nothing, and now I feel no emotion, yet not in the morbid sense just detached. My emotions change so much, I find it hard to keep track of anything. I also struggle with extreme fatigue and a lack of motivation, which caused to start self-prescribing myself modafinil to get through the day. I don't know how to break out of this. It affects my ability to keep jobs and keep up with college. I go to see my g.p. and they just stick me on a waiting list, they don't offer me any help, advice or medication. Although I'd rather not be medicated, I just desperate for anything that will help me cope and get out of this. I mean, the g.p wouldn't even give me modafinil cos she "wasn't qualified" no matter how much I explained that the tiredness was driving me to suicide because I couldn't find one single day without being exhausted, no matter how much sleep I got. If I start trying to control one aspect of my life, e.g. my time keeping, I loose control over everything else. Then I can even get control of that and I feel like such a failure. It feels like a vicious, downward spiral.
How can I start regaining some control? I need some practical advice.
I was diagnosed with depression and OCD about three years ago.
I'm finding it very hard to cope with everything, as I seem to have no control over any part of my life. I feel like my emotions rule everything I do. I obsess that people will think I’m disgusting and that I will fail in everything I do if I don't make sure every piece of work I do is in my opinion acceptable or if I don't make sure I am clean and I feel my appearance looks ok, though I never actually feel happy with it anyway. I feel that these rule how I spend my time and have no concept of time whatsoever, so I’m always, always running behind or being late. Whenever I try to seek help, by the time I actually get an appointment for therapy, my emotional state has changed and I have no motivation to go. One minute it seems I feel suicidal, then I feel nothing, and now I feel no emotion, yet not in the morbid sense just detached. My emotions change so much, I find it hard to keep track of anything. I also struggle with extreme fatigue and a lack of motivation, which caused to start self-prescribing myself modafinil to get through the day. I don't know how to break out of this. It affects my ability to keep jobs and keep up with college. I go to see my g.p. and they just stick me on a waiting list, they don't offer me any help, advice or medication. Although I'd rather not be medicated, I just desperate for anything that will help me cope and get out of this. I mean, the g.p wouldn't even give me modafinil cos she "wasn't qualified" no matter how much I explained that the tiredness was driving me to suicide because I couldn't find one single day without being exhausted, no matter how much sleep I got. If I start trying to control one aspect of my life, e.g. my time keeping, I loose control over everything else. Then I can even get control of that and I feel like such a failure. It feels like a vicious, downward spiral.
How can I start regaining some control? I need some practical advice.
I'm currently on a waiting list to see one, however, I have to wait ages before I see one. I don't think I will last until then. I was wondering if there was anything I myself could do to keep me going.