He dumped me for another girl

[Loyal_Gal]

I've been with this guy for 3 years.  All those years he's very nice, caring, and loving.  He treated me like a princess.  I guess he loved me very much.  Last year, I started to stay with him at his apartment.  We were very close but there was no sex.

Anyway, my dad passed away about a month ago.  That was sudden and shocking for me and my family.  After that, I said something to make my boyfriend angry and he broke up with me 2 weeks after my dad died.  That was another shock too.  

A few days ago, I went over to his apartment to try to talk things out.  I thought we'd get back together again.  He told me he had a new girlfriend but I didn't believe him.  Because when we always broke up, he never finds another girl and neither would I find another guy.  When we broke up, we always got back together.  However, this time, he's got a new girl.  He only knew her for one month.  She also had problems with her boyfriend and he had problems with me.  I guess they talked a lot to each other about their problems and that's how their relationship began.

Okay, back to when I went to see him.  He asked me to give him some time to think about who he really wants.  We talked and we even made out.  I really thought we'd get be together again but he later confirmed that there's another girl.  And he doesn't know who to choose.  Me or her?

Finally, I made my decision to leave him once and for all.  I've sent him many text messages begging him to come back to me, pleading, and all other pathetic stuff like telling him I love him and that I'll change my ways that he doesn't like.  He just told me to concentrate on my studies.  Okay, so I gathered my stuff from his place and left.

I'm going through a tough time now.  I think I still love him and I keep thinking of those 3 years we had together.  Should I continue to wait for him?  Is he worth it?

[Jaybay]

One thing for certain, you two were never going to make it in the long haul.  You write that "when we broke up, we always got back together."  How many times did you break up over the course of 3 years?  That is not the sign of a solid relationship.

I hear a lot of ambivalence in your post too.  You said you "made my decision to leave him once and for all" yet you turned around and flooded him with text messages begging him to come back.  Which way do you want it?

Your ex is right about one thing: you need to concentrate on your studies.  Leave him alone and work on turning yourself into a strong, independent woman capable of supporting yourself both financially and emotionally.  You sound like you honestly don't know what you want in a man right now.  You'll be doing yourself a huge favor if you wait until you DO know what you want before getting into another relationship.  And forget about begging and pleading and thinking he's going to come crawling back to you.  He has already moved on with this other girl, and you are now part of his past.

[Loyal_Gal]

First, I pleaded with him and promised to change my ways.  When he just kept his distance, I gave up.  That's when I realized he might not love me as much anymore.  That is also when I made my decision to leave him.

I guess I should have written the sentences in the right order!

Thanks for your advice anyway. =)

[jo929]

You are young, so get on with your life, also the more you chase a man, the faster he will run,I agree with Jaybay, she makes good sense.     luck    jo    

[loveisessential]

hi there is a saying.  If un love sumone let it free,if it cums bk to u its urs and if it doesnt it never was.atleast at this point u have ur honest and innocent heart with u that no one else can take away frm u nt even him.annd believe me one day he l regret for wat he did to u.and He wil *** BAck to u.

[teko]

If he left you and ran straight into the arms of another, then he never loved you to begin with. You have had a distorted vision of what your relationship with him actually was. Do not beg, offer to change etc; no one is worth groveling over. Hold your head up high, take advantage of your new found freedom and enjoy it. He was not the right one, or this would not have happened.

[treazzure007]

Dont bet on it.  You may not feel up to it right away, but youll need to eventually get busy preoccupying your time and mind with other things to get over a breakup.  Try some fun things and events that you can go along with friends to.  Everybody has to go through it at one time or another.

[BearHitch]

First of all, you don't want a guy who will make out with another girl while involved which he did with you.  Second, he wants to keep you "on call" while he decides who he wants???  No, that man is not worth it.  He is just stringing you along in case things don't work out with this other girl, and you will be wasting your time and emotions on someone who really doesn't give a damn.  And like Teko said, he broke up with you and started seeing someone right away... I don't think so.  Girl, let him go and move on - you deserve twice the man he is!